


This Changes Everything

by DeMarcos



Series: The 'Verse Changes [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Minor Barry Allen/Iris West, mentioned Iris West/OMC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-17 10:43:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5866348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeMarcos/pseuds/DeMarcos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU to an AU. In which Barry was successful the night he went back to save Nora. He stopped Eobard, saved his family from a madman, reset the timeline, and passed along a <em>very</em> important note.</p><p>(Companion to <em>Everything Changes</em> but <em>not</em> the start of the second arc. Can be read on its own, though there are references that might fly over some readers' heads.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Changes Everything

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically twenty-two chapters jammed into a hella-long, cavity inducing epic, so... prepare yourselves for EXPOSITION GALORE.
> 
> Also, many thanks to [Pixsystik](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixsystik/profile) for beta'ing this for me, as I kinda sorta definitely lost my mind while churning this out, hence the insane delay on getting this posted. She made the bad-bad go away-way and helped clean this up for me, and I am eternally in her debt.
> 
> That being said, enjoy!

“Come on, you can do it.” Barry cajoled softly, trying to keep the expression of elation off his face. “Bring that chunky butt over here.” He slowly knelt down on the floor and held out his arms. “Come to daddy, Ethan.”

“Don’t pressure him, Bar.”

“It’s not pressuring, it’s _encouraging_.” He hissed, not once taking his eyes off the tiny form holding himself up on the edge of the couch. “Now shut up or you’ll distract him.”

Eddie made a derisive sound in the back of his throat, giving his head a wry shake. He never thought he’d live to see the day the fastest man alive taught a child how to walk. Yet there he was, grinning like crazy, waggling his hands to tempt Ethan into taking his first step.

Big blue eyes stared back at them, pudgy fingers jammed into a drooling mouth, and Eddie put a hand on Barry’s shoulder, intently watching the indecision in his son’s eyes. It wasn’t the first time they’d thought he was going to start walking and he waited with bated breath to see if Ethan would go for it, or plop down on the carpet to crawl back over to his pile of toys like he normally did when he decided walking was overrated.

For once, however, the lure of his parents’ attention seemed to outweigh the joy of playing with his toys and Ethan let go of the couch cushion. He took a shaky step forward, followed by another, the dawning realization that he could walk making him smile widely. Ethan let out a high-pitched squeal of delight and rushed toward them as fast as his little legs could carry him.

Eddie was utterly floored by how well he kept his balance and when Ethan ran into Barry’s arms, he let out a cheerful whoop. Barry scooped Ethan up and stood up, cheering right alongside Eddie, who pulled them both into a hug.

“You did it, buddy!” Barry cried ecstatically, bouncing Ethan up and down in his arms. “You walked!”

Ethan responded by clapping his hands on Barry’s face, giggling as he kicked his feet in excitement. Eddie brushed back a lock of Ethan’s feather soft blonde hair and began showering him with kisses. “Who’s daddy’s big boy, huh?” He asked, planting a wet one on his cheek. “Who’s a big boy?”

“Me!” Ethan burbled happily. “Me, dada, me!”

“That’s right! _You_ are!”

Rubbing his hand over Ethan’s stomach, Barry peered down at him wistfully. “God, it seems like just yesterday that he was learning to crawl…”

“You sound like my _mother_.” Eddie chided, tossing him a teasing smirk. “The night I went to prom, she was crying her eyes out, _where did the time go, it was just yesterday that I was dropping you off at kindergarten_.”

Barry shook his head sternly. “Oh, no, don’t even _talk_ to me about kindergarten.” He said, clutching Ethan to him possessively. “There's no way I'll ever be ready for that.”

Truth be told, Eddie wasn’t either and just the _thought_ of waving goodbye to Ethan as he went off for his first day of school was a little too overwhelming. For a second, he felt the world tilt on its axis, and he had to blink away the sensation, manly pride making him chalk it up to nothing more than the happiness of the moment. All his life he’d heard people going on and on about their children growing up too soon, and now that he was experiencing it for himself, all he wanted to do was freeze-frame the moment forever, so as to never let Ethan go.

He was having other ideas about that, however, and he started squirming about in Barry’s arms. “Down, dada!” When Barry hesitated, Ethan scrunched his face up, ready to start the waterworks to get what he wanted. “ _Down_!”

Desperate to avoid a meltdown, Barry immediately bent over to put Ethan down on the floor. Dropping to his hands and knees, Ethan raced across the carpet to return to his toys. They watched him pick up a large plastic truck and shove it directly into his mouth.

“Okay, maybe we don’t have to worry about him growing up on us _too_ fast.” Barry said, tilting his head to the side, wondering how such a tiny thing managed to open his mouth so wide.

"You say that now..." Eddie moved to sidle up behind Barry, placing his hands on his hips and tucking his chin into the crook of Barry's neck. "But it's not like we're not so old that we can't have more little ones."

Barry turned his head and gave Eddie a sideways look. "Ethan's not even out of diapers yet and you're already thinking of _more_ kids?"

"I'm not planning to have them right this instant, but yeah... it'd be nice to give Ethan some brothers or sisters." They hadn't really discussed it when they'd made the moves to conceive Ethan, but they were both only children, and though he didn't know about Barry, Eddie thought it would be better for Ethan to have siblings. Siblings to play with, to learn from, and who would support each other as they got older, all things Eddie would have killed for growing up.

"Besides, I'd love to see what a little version of Barry looks like." Eddie kissed his cheek softly. "And if we used the same surrogate, they'd be related by more than just a piece of paper."

Turning in Eddie's arms, Barry furrowed his brow, a warm smile spreading across his face. "You've already thought this through."

"Of course I have. I love you, and all I've ever wanted was to start a family with you. A nice _big_ family. If you're willing, of course."

"And you're not worried about me potentially passing down the meta gene? Being a kid is hard enough. Being a kid with powers..." Barry let out a huff of air. "That could be _rough_."

"Well, that's what family is for," Eddie replied, sliding his fingers down Barry's arms to clasp their hands together, "helping each other out, in the good times, _and_ the bad. If they end up a speedster like you, we'll just have to let them know that no matter what, we will always love them, and that we'll always be there for them."

Barry gave him a look, one that said he still couldn't believe how truly lucky he was to have such a wonderful, caring person in his life. His eyes glanced over Eddie's shoulder, to one of the frames hanging on the living room wall. The frame was surrounded by pictures that detailed both their lives, Barry growing up, family portraits with his mom and dad, at science fairs holding up the first place ribbon, him with Iris, who was his date to junior prom, graduating high school, and then college. Eddie with his own parents as a child, then morphing to just him and his mother after his parents had divorced.

There were pictures of the two of them at charity events and community picnics, the chubby cheeks melting into a sleeker form as he stood inside a boxing ring, and as he held up a soccer trophy. He had graduation photos from high school, college and the police academy.

The pictures then started to contain the both of them, their first Thanksgiving together, their first Christmas, birthday celebrations, and their wedding. The photos of them with Ethan were the newest, and they dominated the walls, chronicling his first day home from the hospital, in the arms of his grandparents and extended family, his first day out in the snow, snoozing on Joe's chest, and one with a fistful of Cisco's hair crammed into his grinning mouth. But none of the photos would have existed if it weren't for the frame in the middle of it all.

It wasn't a picture, but a handwritten note, the single most important thing he'd ever written.

 

* * *

 

 

He'd received it the summer between seventh and eighth grade, when his dad had unexpectedly come home for lunch one day and walked in on him masturbating to a photo inside a men's fashion magazine. Barry had been absolutely mortified, and he'd prayed emphatically for an instantaneous death, to spare him from the humiliation of having been caught doing such a thing. Later that evening, after his mom had come home from work, his parents had sat him down and Barry had felt like crying from the shame of it all.

They'd already talked to him about the birds and the bees, as not only was Henry a doctor, but the school district required parental consent before teach sex ed, and they'd talked to him about it, to gauge his comfort level before agreeing to let him take the class. The talk had included masturbation, so he hadn't understood why they'd felt the need to drag the issue out any further and embarrass him even more.

Instead, they'd asked him about why he'd chosen that particular magazine. Stammering, Barry had explained that he liked girls just fine, but sometimes, he thought boys were nice, too, and he'd taken the magazine to his room, wanting to see if he liked them the way he liked girls. And boy, had he ever. Until his dad had walked in. He'd been certain they were going to yell at him, the way people on the news yelled about men liking other men, and women liking other women, but his parents had just traded looks. At that point, his mom had gotten up and went upstairs. Barry had felt his heart sink in his chest, thinking she'd been too ashamed to even be in the same room with him. But she'd returned a few minutes later, clutching a piece of paper in her hand.

She told him that years ago, on the night their house had been broken into by what appeared to be a man surrounded by lightning and he'd ended up blocks away, alone in the middle of the street, the man that had eventually driven away the intruder had given her a note, to be given to him when the time was right. Though that night had faded in his memory, the odd occurrence had sparked up his interest in the fringier side of science and with his curiosity piqued, Barry had taken the note from his mother's hand, quickly opening it up.

 _Eddie Thawne, Keystone City. He is your equal and your opposite, and you love him with everything that you are. FIND HIM_!

He'd kept it with him ever since that awkward conversation, puzzling over it endlessly with every free moment, wondering how the mysterious break-in related to the note. He had eventually showed it to Iris, his best friend and the girl he liked more than any other girl, or boy. Leaving out the circumstances as to why his parents had given it to him, he explained to her how his mother had gotten it, on the night his house had been broken into. Iris had swooned over the note, answering his questions about it with a fanciful tale of lovelorn traveler, returned from the future to right a wrong and get things back to the way they were supposed to have been.

Barry had scoffed at her, wondering why this so-called traveler hadn't just given him plain directions on how to find this Eddie person. Keystone City was huge, not as big as Metropolis or Gotham, but bigger than Central City, and it would be like finding a needle in a haystack. She'd giggled at him, telling him in a sing-song voice that he should know better than anyone, with all the books he'd read, that a quest for his true love wasn't supposed to be _easy_.

For weeks, he'd wondered about the note and its origins, but when the new school year had started, he'd pushed it to the back of his mind. Every now and again, he'd think of it, wondering if this Eddie person had received a similar note, and was out there looking for him. But a year later, nothing ever came of it and Barry had put away all thoughts of it.

He'd started dating Iris the winter of their freshman year, and they'd stayed together all the way through graduation. She'd become a part of his family, and he'd become a part of hers. Iris had come to see Nora as a surrogate mother, since she'd lost her own mother at a young age, and Joe had become like a surrogate father to Barry, who was always eager to hear his stories about catching murderers with good old fashioned logic and hard work. Being with her had been the best four years of his life, and they'd shared a lot of firsts together. Iris was one of the few people who had never judged him for being attracted to men, which made Barry love her even more, though she swore the only way he'd ever convince her to have a three-way with him was if he'd bagged Oliver Queen, which basically translated to _never_.

Sometimes, she'd sit in the cafeteria with him and they'd rate their fellow male classmates on a scale of _do_ and _wouldn't do_ , and other times, she'd ask if he'd ever looked up Eddie on the internet. When the conversation came up, it always made him wonder why she was so interested in finding him, since he was in love with her, not him, though the thought of Eddie always niggled at the back of his mind. But when it came time to head off to college, neither of them having been accepted to the same school, which was understandable, given their different areas of interest, they'd both acknowledged that it would be incredibly hard to maintain a long-distance relationship, and that their friendship was more important than losing each other over some lover's quarrel.

"Besides, your mystery man is still out there somewhere, remember?" She said, head resting on his chest. It was their last night together in the same state, and his parents had made some excuse to get out of the house for the evening, leaving them alone to say their goodbyes. Barry had flushed a brilliant red as they'd headed out the door, though he was grateful they were giving him the opportunity to be with Iris one last time. “You need to find him, so you can fall madly in love, getting married and have like four hundred babies with him.”

Snorting loudly, Barry tugged on her hair teasingly before brushing the long locks behind her ear. “Okay, _one_ , that’s not even biologically possible, _two_ , have you _seen_ my hips? No way am I pushing a baby out through them, let alone _four hundred_. And I’m starting to think you’re just trying to get rid of me or something.” She shifted around to glare up at him and Barry stuck his tongue out at her.

A grin spread across Iris’ face and she placed a hand on Barry’s chest to rest her chin, gazing up at him with loving exasperation. “I’m not trying to get rid of you, I’m trying to give you the _push_ you need.”

“Why? Can’t we just enjoy tonight, without any pushing? I don’t want to think about _him_ , I want to think about _you_.”

Sighing, Iris sat up and moved to straddle Barry. She leaned down to cradle his head in her hands, sweeping a thumb gently across his cheek. “You know I love you, right?”

“I know. And I love you, too.” He said sincerely, circling his fingers around her wrist, tilting his head to kiss the inside of her palm.

Iris smiled down at him. “I have been _so_ lucky to be your friend, and to be your girlfriend. You are the kindest, sweetest, most thoughtful person I’ve ever met, and I will never stop loving you. But we’ve _always_ had an expiration date.” Barry opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. “There’s no use trying to deny it. You don’t talk about the note a lot, but I can tell when you’re thinking about it. You get this… I dunno, _hopeful_ glimmer in your eyes. And I see that, and I get hopeful _for_ you. That you’ll find him, and that you’ll be _happy_. And that's all I want for you, is to be happy.”

“I don’t need a note to tell me who I’ll be happy with, because I’m happy with _you_ right now.”

Leaning down, Iris tipped Barry’s head back so she could kiss him, slowly and deeply, pleased to know that she’d made him as happy as he’d made her. His hands traveled down her sides to grip her hips, to position her just so, but she broke away quickly, straightening her back and narrowing her eyes at Barry. “Uh-uh, we’re having a _serious_ conversation here.”

“Okay, sorry.” He said, holding up his hands defensively, doing his very best to keep his gaze on her face and _not_ her boobs. “Thought I was getting a signal.”

“You _always_ think you’re getting a signal. I adjusted my bra strap in study hall one day and you thought it was a signal. I'm pretty sure just me _breathing_ is a signal to you.”

“I can’t help it!" He cried defensively. "I’m full of hormones and desires and you sex me up, so I-”

Iris put a finger against Barry’s lips to shush him. “Do me a favor and don’t ever say that about me again.” She said with a chuckle and Barry dutifully nodded his head. “The point being,” Iris removed her finger, “is that you’re happy with me _now_. Let’s say after graduation, we get back together and make a go of it. You’re still _always_ going to wonder who this Eddie person is, and you’re always going to wonder about _how_ and _why_ you got that note. And I know you, you’re not the kind of person to just ignore an opportunity to get answers. So we’ll be together, you wondering what could have been, and me feeling bad that I kept you from getting your answers _and_ your guy.”

“You don’t know that _that’s_ gonna-”

Shushing him again, Iris rolled her eyes. “Call it female intuition if you want, but yes, I _do_ know. But Barry, I’m not _mad_." With her free hand, she brushed her fingers through Barry's hair, gently smoothing it away from his forehead. "I have had four wonderful years with you, and even more years as your friend. I went into this relationship with my eyes open, knowing there was someone else out there for you, but I don’t regret a single minute of our time together. I never will. Better to have loved and lost, right? And it's not even losing, because we are still going to be friends, and we'll still be a part of each other's families. But I _would_ regret it, knowing that being in this relationship had kept you from fulfilling your destiny.”

“For real? You’re gonna sit there, on top of me, _naked_ , and tell me to go be happy with someone else.”

“Not right now!” Iris said in exasperation. “But _yes_! Not only do you deserve your mystery man, but I deserve someone who’s not gonna be in love with someone else, even if it’s just the _idea_ of someone else. No offense.”

Barry shook his head against the pillows, eyes on the ceiling. “No, you’re right. You _do_ deserve someone who is going to love you, and _only_ you.” He couldn't say for certain that he was already in love with Eddie, but Iris had him dead to rights. The mere idea of Eddie had lingered over him since the day his parents had given him the note. And it wouldn’t be fair of him, to keep her in a relationship that had a specter hanging over it, expecting her to just live with it. Not only that, for all he knew, Eddie was out there waiting for him, and it would be beyond wrong and cruel to just leave him waiting, never knowing what had happened to keep them apart. “I’m an idiot…” He muttered.

“You’re not an idiot.” Iris breathed, pressing herself flush against him, kissing the corner of his mouth. “You’re just being Barry. Barry happens to be big lovable dork, but that's part of what makes him so amazing.” She nibbled at his lower lip. “And since Barry is also absolutely hopeless, _this_ is a signal.”

“Oh, thank _God_.” He said, throwing his arms around her eagerly. He had the whole rest of his life to think about Eddie, to puzzle over their strange connection, but tonight, all he wanted to think about was Iris. She deserved that much, for being the best, most understanding girlfriend in the world, to know just how grateful he was to have her as a friend, and to have been included in her life.

After she'd left the following morning, hugging his parents goodbye, thanking them profusely for breakfast and promising she’d keep in touch with them, Barry took the note of the shoe box he kept his mementos in, packed away in a larger box meant to follow him to college. He stared down at it, chewing his lip contemplatively. It was tempting, the thought of looking Eddie up, but he knew he had to think about school and his education, before he started in on some crazy quest for love.

He had no clue if Eddie was older than him, or younger than him, or the same age as him. If he was older, what would he think of some inexperienced eighteen year old kid randomly knocking on his door, claiming they were supposed to be together? If Eddie was younger, he'd look like some kind of pervert taking advantage of a kid, and Barry wanted to avoid that at _all_ costs. If they were the same age, then Eddie would probably be preparing for college to, packing up his things, saying goodbye to his parents, ready to take the first step toward his future, and just like Barry, didn't need any more distractions. Deep down inside, he knew the timing wasn't right, so he tucked the note back in the box and focused on getting his things ready for the next phase of his life.

When he’d been presented with the mysterious note as a child, Barry had always wondered about the night it had been pressed into his mother’s hands, after his family had been terrorized by the man in lightning. Neither him or his parents knew anything about the man who had given into them, and the police had never come anywhere close to catching either of the men who had appeared in their house, though it was obvious the police hadn't really tried, as no one had ever believed them about the men. The police had said that the traumatic event had altered their perceptions about the actual events, and with no real leads to follow up on, there was nothing to be done about closing the case.

Despite their lackluster efforts, Barry had still found his interests drifting towards the science of police work. Or rather, the more bizarre side of police work that couldn't be explained with science, so he’d gone off to college and had come back with a double major in chemistry and forensics, and a minor in criminal psychology. After years of hard work, sleepless nights, and the occasional party that had led to drunken hookups, Barry had graduated with honors. With the ink barely dry on his college diploma, he returned to Central City, and the good word Joe had put in for him with Captain Singh, his credentials had secured him a position on the force.

The day he’d gotten the job, he'd gone out that evening with Joe and Iris to celebrate his return, as well as his new employment. He and Iris had spent most of the dinner catching up, with Joe content just to sit back with a beer and watch them reminisce about their younger days, when they’d sit at his dining room table, gossiping in the way only teenagers could. Just as they'd known it would be, whatever had been between them was no longer there, though it was clear they still adored one another, as only two people who'd grown up knowing everything about one another would. They would never forget what they meant to each other, but they were older now, and though much hadn’t changed, things were different. Didn't mean they couldn't catch up, just like old times.

Iris was still in school, finishing up her bachelor's degree. She'd danced around majors her freshman and sophomore year, but after one of her weekly calls to Barry, where he'd suggested she try out journalism, a good field for putting her stubborn and inquisitive nature to work, Iris had looked into the classes and decided it was something she'd might like. Once she'd received her associate's degree, she'd moved back to Central City, living with her father once more, and had started taking classes at the state university, working part time at Jitters in-between her studies.

She confessed that she was beginning to stress out as she got closer to her dissertation date, but that she was handling it by stress-eating everything around her, especially at work. Barry had teased her about coming into Jitters one day, to make sure wouldn't become more muffin top than woman. She’d thumped his arm, telling him he’d end up with a lap full of coffee if he showed up at her work to sass her. Iris had grinned at him as he rubbed the spot on his arm where she'd hit him, Barry smiled back at her and offered to buy her dessert, so she could eat away her anger toward him. She hit him again and Joe snorted into his beer, strangely finding himself glad to have his family back in one city.

When the meal was done and her father had been taking care of the check, Iris had pulled him aside to surreptitiously ask him about Eddie. He’d told her that he still hadn’t begun looking for him, and when she’d frowned in disappointment at him, he swore to her that as soon as he got settled into his new work routine, he’d start searching for Eddie. Iris hadn’t looked convinced, but Barry had told her in hushed tones that the timing still didn’t feel quite right, but when it did, there was nothing that would stop him from going to the ends of the earth to find Eddie. That had made her smile, and she then made him swear that she’d be his best man at their wedding. Barry had scoffed, saying that there was no guarantee they would end up together, but if they did, there was no else he’d want by his side if he did get married.

The following week, he’d started at the precinct, and discovered it to be fulfilling work. He enjoyed doing it, helping the police capture criminals, even if he became the butt of a lot of jokes, due to his outwardly nerdy nature and lack of social graces. Underneath all the teasing, however, was a genuine sense of camaraderie with the people he worked closely with. When he'd gained enough experience to start working crime scenes, Barry witnessed firsthand the way the officers would keep an eye out for him, even as they made their sly, joking comments, making sure no one tried to hurt him. At college, he had avoided fraternities like the plague, but had still ended up in one after joining the force, and he'd found that he actually enjoyed it, the sense of family and brotherhood that came with working with the police.

Still, as the months went on, he’d begun to feel as though something was missing from his life, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. All his life, he'd always felt complete, with his family and friends, and with Iris, but now... it oddly felt like he was an unfinished puzzle. It was then that he realized it was time, time to find Eddie and put an end to the mystery once and for all.

The very next day, he'd fired up his laptop, cracked his knuckles and began searching. Eddie had no Facebook or Twitter that could be found, but there was a listing for a _B. Thawne_ in the Keystone White Pages. With trembling hands, he'd called the number and it turned out to be Eddie's mother. Barry had played off the phone conversation as if he just wanted to reconnect with an old high school friend, and she'd informed him that Eddie worked at the Keystone City Police Department. A shiver had gone up Barry's spine at that, and it had been tempting to log into his precinct account to look up the officers employed in Keystone, but something told him that it would be wrong to just look at a picture to decide whether or not he'd see the thing through. It was something he _had_ to do in person, to get a real measure of the man.

On his next day off, Barry had taken the train into Keystone and made his way to the police station, an anxious excitement building in his chest with each step that put him closer to Eddie.

The police station was busy, and Barry found himself impatiently standing in line, waiting for his turn to speak with the desk sergeant. The waiting was made somewhat easier by the fact that the desk sergeant was drop dead gorgeous. He was young, with short-cropped blonde hair and bright blue eyes that lit up every time he smiled, which was a lot. The closer he got, Barry could hear a gravelly note to his polite, congenial voice as he directed people to the departments they were looking for, and his imagination kicked into overdrive, thinking what that voice would sound like in a more intimate setting.

He caught the sergeant's gaze several times, his smile seeming to brighten even more when they caught each other staring, which made Barry smile in return. Something about the man seemed so familiar, and Barry had to give himself a mental kick in the ass. He was there to find Eddie, not make goo-goo eyes with the desk sergeant, no matter how handsome he was. When it was finally his turn, Barry approached the desk, reminding himself to be professional.

"Hello." The sergeant said, his voice dripping with flirtatious overtones. "How can I help you today?" There was a subtle emphasis to his words, as though he was more than eager to help him in _any_ way.

Barry chided himself internally for melting just a tiny bit at the unspoken offer and waved his lanyard with his CCPD ID on it, hoping it would prevent any questions as to why he was hunting down a random officer on their force. "Hello, my name is Barry Allen and I'm a CSI in Central City. I'm here looking for Eddie Thawne."

The desk sergeant tilted his head to the side inquisitively, a coy smirk replacing his easygoing smile, a mischievous glint appearing in his eyes. "May I ask why?"

"It's a private matter, Sergeant..." Barry looked to his name tag. "Thawne." His heart began beating a wild tattoo against his ribs. _No way_ …

"It's _Officer_ Thawne." He said, tapping his arm to indicate the lack of sergeant stripes on his uniform. "I'm covering for the sergeant while he's on lunch. So how may I help you in this _private_ matter?" There was that emphasis again, although this time, Barry didn't feel guilty all for enjoying his tone of voice.

"Uh, I... uh." Barry replied smartly. His nervousness seemed to delight Eddie and Barry flushed an interesting shade of red. He glanced over his shoulder, seeing that there were two other people behind him and he turned back, leaning in closer so he wouldn't be overheard. "I was hoping that I could... if you have the time, that is, if you would join me for a cup of coffee."

"For you, I'd _gladly_ make the time." Eddie checked his watch. "But I'm on duty for another thirty-six minutes." He looked up at him, giving him an assessing once over. "There's a coffee shop around the block. Go outside, head to your right. And the end of the block, make another right. Before you get to the next intersection, you'll see a Starbucks on your left. Give me about forty-five minutes, and I'll see you there."

"Great, that's great!" Barry said a little too excitedly, and he quickly lowered the register of his voice. "I mean, good, thank you. I'll, uhm, see you there." He stumbled a bit as he turned to leave, but caught his balance and made a beeline for the front door, too embarrassed to check if Eddie was watching his graceless exit.

He had made his way to Starbucks, feeling lighter than air, despite the knot forming in his gut. It had been so easy, when he'd thought it would be harder to find Eddie, to convince him to talk to him, and see if there was any merit to the note. But Eddie had been _nice_ , agreeing to meet with him without even asking why. Barry had never been so amenable to sudden surprises, usually waiting to make his move until the time was right, and all the angles had been carefully examined. Eddie seemed more than eager to just roll with the punches, however, and he thought it had something to do with the flirty looked they'd given each other. _At least the attraction is mutual_ , he'd thought.

Forty-five minutes later, Eddie showed up, just as he said he would. Barry all but leapt out his chair to greet him, having spent the time imagining all the ways this insane adventure of his could go downhill, but Eddie was all relaxed posture and easy smiles, just as he'd been at the station. H was alert, aware of his surroundings, but first and foremost, obviously at ease with the unexpected request to meet up. They'd ordered their coffees from the counter -a third cup for Barry, and a first one for Eddie- sat down and began talking. They'd introduced themselves properly and once that was out of the way, they slowly got to know one another.

Two hours into their conversation, Barry had learned that they had absolutely _nothing_ in common, but it hadn't really mattered to either of them. Eddie was intelligent and expressive, and his niceness hadn't been a professional act. He was _genuinely_ a good person, and though they didn't like the same kinds of movies, or music, or even the same hobbies, Eddie listened to him ramble on about zombies, _Star Wars_ , and how they'd finally discovered the Higgs boson with actual interest.

When Eddie had enlightened him on how the Patriots were going to own the Diamonds come the playoffs for the World Series, his love of action movies, and his desire to become a detective, Barry had listened with equal intensity. Though they had nothing in common, they'd found it enjoyable to watch the other talk, Barry loving the way Eddie's face lit up when he spoke of what motivated him, and going by the twinkle in Eddie's eyes, he had to assume his awkward stammering and self-conscious grins when he expounded on his own desires for life, that Eddie was just as enamored.

They hadn't even noticed the time until the early evening rush hit the Starbucks, and the place became packed with customers. It had been as if they’d known each other all their lives, and were simply getting reacquainted after too many years apart. Neither could explain it, but they didn’t feel the need to, though Barry had an inkling as to why that was. He kept mum on the subject, though, not wanting to scare Eddie off with talk about men in lightning and mysterious notes.

Agreeing to exchange numbers once it started to get late, they'd promised to call, and make plans to meet up again. Out on the sidewalk, they waved goodbye to one another and went their separate ways. On the train ride home, Barry had texted Iris, telling her that Eddie was _real_ , he was _amazing_ , and that he didn't understand how someone so handsome could be interested in a nerd like him.

After a barrage of angry texts telling him not to sell himself short, because he too was amazing and handsome and worth the affection of someone who deserved him, Iris said she was proud of him for finally going after what destiny had been leading him to. Sitting back on the seat, gazing out the window as the Keystone skyline faded into the distance, a tiny seed of hope planted itself inside of his heart and the elation Barry felt made him proud of himself, too, for finally going on his adventure.

Six months later, after dozens of dates and meeting each other’s parents and discovering that they were unbelievably sexually compatible, that seed fully blossomed into love, coming into fruition when had Eddie put in a transfer to Central City. Taking time off work, they’d spent a week apartment hunting, though Barry spent more time staring at Eddie with loving puppy dog eyes than listening to the leasing agents who were showing them around prospective apartments. And he didn't need to see the looks some of the leasing agents gave them to know that love was reflecting back on him from Eddie, his wide smile lighting up his bright blue eyes.

It seemed crazy, but only after a short amount of time, they were completely and utterly head over heels for one another. Though they hadn’t been dating long, it made sense to move in together, as it would mean no more trips back and forth, snagging only a few days together here and there on their conflicting schedules.

Barry had considered moving to Keystone, but there had been no available positions for forensic techs, whereas CCPD had openings for officers. And with a few detectives nearing retirement, Eddie would have a better chance of making detective sooner than he would have in Keystone, so Central City had been the smartest option.

When they'd finally found a place they'd liked, they signed the paperwork, got the keys and proceeded to christen every inch of their new place, not caring that it was empty and devoid of any proper surfaces to have sex on. After the craziness of moving and getting everything in order, they settled into their new lives together, and they were unbelievably happy.

For their one year anniversary, they'd gone out for a fancy dinner at a ridiculously expensive restaurant and afterward, took a walk around the city to work off the decadent meal. Eddie led him toward the bridge overlooking the construction site for S.T.A.R. Labs, and leaning over the railing, he’d listened as Barry waxed philosophic about all the wonderful advances the particle accelerator would lead to, how it would change the lives of everyone in the world for the better. That was the moment Eddie had chosen to get down on one knee and propose to Barry.

Dumbstruck, Barry stood there wide-eyed, hands covering his mouth as he looked from Eddie to the ring tucked inside a black velvet box. It was too much, the absolute joy he felt in his heart, especially when he’d still been holding on to a secret, a secret he'd been too afraid of sharing with Eddie, lest he lose him forever, and Barry shook his head.

"We have to go home."

Eddie blinked up at him in shock, having only expected one of two possible answers. "Excuse me?"

"We have to go home." Barry quickly motioned for Eddie to get up.

"Why?" He asked, refusing to get up until Barry explained what the hell was going on.

Groaning, Barry bent down, hands cupping Eddie's cheeks. "I love you, Eddie," _with everything that I am_ , "but I can't answer until we _go home_."

Disheartened and thinking Barry wanted to go home so he could let him down in private, he pushed himself up off the ground. In stunned silence, he walked with Barry back to their car, wondering where he'd gone wrong, if he'd misread the signs, or if he should have waited longer to pop the question. The whole ride back to their apartment was tense and awkward, Barry drumming his fingers against his thighs nervously, his mind on the note he'd been keeping from Eddie since the day they'd met.

The second they got to the apartment, Barry raced into the bedroom, throwing open the closet doors to rummage around for the keepsake box he had buried somewhere inside, not realizing that out in the living room, Eddie was falling apart, certain Barry was in the room packing up his belongings. Numb, he plopped down on the couch, not sure what had happened. The day before, everything had seemed so perfect. They were young, happy, _in love_ , and it made sense to spend the rest of their lives together.

His mother adored Barry, Barry's parents equally adored him, he got along famously with Iris, and Barry got along with Mallory, Eddie's best friend from school. They fit so perfectly into each other' lives, but now... Sure, they’d had their fair share of fights, what couple didn’t, but they’d always made up in the end. Eddie stared down at his hands, fearing he’d done something wrong, and certain that nothing would ever be right in the world again.

Box in hand, Barry hurried out into the living room and plopped down cross-legged on the floor in front of the couch. He looked up at the defeated, desolate expression on Eddie's face and it dawned him what he'd accidentally done. "Oh, God, Eddie, I'm _so_ sorry! I didn't mean for you thinking I... I wanted to show you something before I accepted your proposal."

Glancing up from his hands to stare down at Barry, Eddie gave him a searching look. " _Accepted_?"

"Yeah, _accepted_. I'd be an idiot not to say yes to the man I love."

Eddie's heart flip-flopped in his chest. "You want to marry me?" He asked hopefully.

" _Of course_ I do. But... you might not want to marry me, after I show you this." Lifting the lid, Barry reached for the note, tucked against the side of the box, so it wouldn't get crumbled up by the other bits and bobs stuffed into the box. "So, this is going to sound absolutely bonkers, but I swear to you, on my mother's life, that it's _all_ true." Setting the box and the lid on the coffee table, he clutched the note between his fingers and peered up into Eddie's eyes.

"When I was eleven, a man broke into our house. I woke up because I'd heard shouting and saw the water in my fish tank... floating in the air. And that's not even the strangest thing. I went downstairs and saw a man... in lightning. My mom was on the floor, screaming as the lightning surrounded her, my dad was shouting at me to get away, to run. And the next thing I knew, I was _twenty_ blocks away. By the time I made it back home, the man was gone. The house was a disaster area, and police were everywhere. My mom and dad were fine, but they were freaking out, wondering where I was. The police searched the neighborhood for the attacker, but never found anything. Joe assigned a patrol car to monitor the house, because he thought someone had targeted my parents, and I spent a week or two living with him and Iris, because he thought I'd be safer with him, if the man came back. But he never did and after a while, things returned to normal. And I forgot about it.

"Until one day, years later, my parents sat me down and gave me this note. They told me that after I'd been taken, another man in lightning had showed up and stopped the man who was attacking my mom. Afterward, he gave her a note, instructing her to give it to me when I was old enough, which they did. And now, I'm giving it to you." Barry handed over the note and Eddie took it. The paper had started to yellow slightly from age, the creases smeared with a thin line of dirt from fingers repeatedly folding it. Eyeing Barry, Eddie carefully opened it up and read it.

 _Eddie Thawne, Keystone City. He is your equal and your opposite, and you love him with everything that you are. FIND HIM_!

Eddie's heart leapt into his throat and his hands began shaking. He read it and re-read it, feeling his whole world tilt sideways. He recognized Barry's handwriting, having seen it a thousand times in police reports, on grocery lists, and on quick little love notes stuffed in his gym bag or posted on the fridge. But it didn't make sense. If what Barry was saying was true, the note was almost fourteen years old, and there was no way he'd have the same handwriting as a child as he did now.

"How is this possible?" He croaked.

"I don't know. But after we started dating, I had the idea to dust it for prints." Barry plucked another piece of paper from the box and handed it to Eddie. "There were five distinct sets on the paper. Mine, my mom's, my dad's, Iris'... and yours."

"That's... there's no way." Eddie said, unfolding the test results. He saw the comparisons to the fingerprints that were in the system and there was no doubt about it, they were his prints. His jaw dropped when he saw the date stamp. He'd not even made his first trip to Central City to see Barry when he'd run the tests. It was impossible for his fingerprints to have been on a note he'd before seen in his life, and yet, there they were, plain as day.

"There's _no_ logical explanation for how that note came to be... but it led me to you. And it was right. I _do_ love you, Eddie, with _every_ fiber of my being." Barry rubbed at his chin solemnly. "I never told you about the note, though, because I was afraid of what you'd think of me. That I made it up, or that I targeted you and manufactured your feelings for me. But you have to believe that I _didn't_. I went to find you not knowing what to expect, and I found _you_. And I couldn't in good conscience agree to marry you without showing this to you."

There was a moment of loaded silence, Barry waiting on tenterhooks as Eddie stared down at the note, his hands still trembling slightly. Finally, Eddie sighed. "I believe you, Bar." He said, setting the note and the test results down on the coffee table.

"You do?" Barry asked hopefully.

"And not just because you can't lie to save your life." Ignoring Barry's indignant scowl, Eddie scooted off the couch and moved to kneel down on the floor in front of him. He took Barry's hands in his own, lacing their fingers together. "Do you remember the first day we met?"

"Yeah, how could I forget? I drank so much caffeine I thought I was gonna buzz right out of my chair and make an ass out of myself in front of you."

Eddie grinned and laughed. "You almost did, and I was worried there for a minute that you were going to have a heart attack. But that's not what I meant. I meant at the police station, before we ever exchanged a word. You said you came there to find me, not knowing what to expect. You didn't even know what I looked like, did you?"

"No," Barry said with a shake of his head, "I almost used the CCPD database to look you up, but thought it would be wrong to base a first impression off a photo. And I wanted to actually _find_ you, like the note said."

"Now, see, I can tell you're not lying." Lifting a hand, Eddie rubbed at his stubbled chin contemplatively. "So you walked into the police station and what was the first thing you did?"

"Uh..."

"You began _flirting_ with the desk sergeant. You stood in that line and you couldn't take your eyes off me. And I should know, because _I_ couldn't keep my eyes off _you_. There you were, on a mission to find me, and you couldn't stop yourself from flirting."

"I couldn't help myself!" Barry cried defensively. "You were gorgeous!"

"Oh, so you only liked me for my looks?" Eddie wheedled teasingly.

Barry flushed beet red. "Well, not _just_ because of how you looked... I noticed your smile more than anything else. You were gorgeous, but your smile made you _beautiful_. Still does..."

Leaning in, Eddie brushed their lips together, a ghost of a kiss. "And you were _breathtaking_." He whispered. "I noticed you the _moment_ you walked in those doors. And when I saw you staring back at me, flirting back with that awkward, adorable look in your eyes, I _wanted_ you, right then and there." Eddie pushed Barry backward, grip shifting on his hands to pin his wrists to the floor. Barry immediately wrapped his legs around his waist and Eddie hovered over him, their lips mere centimeters apart. "I thought you were jailbait, but it still didn’t stop me from wanting you. Then you walked up and said my name, and I was yours."

"Is there a point to all this?" Barry groaned with a sinuous roll of his hips.

Not to be outdone, Eddie tightened his fingers around Barry's wrists, eliciting a gasp, and he met his seeking hips, grinding against him until they found a slow, rutting rhythm. "The point is," Eddie said breathlessly, "I wasn't even supposed to be working the desk, but the desk sergeant hadn't had a chance to grab lunch yet, and he flagged me down when he saw me passing by, asking me to cover for him." He nipped gently at Barry's lower lip. "What are the chances that I just happened to be in the right place at the right time when you walked in? So you could find me before _actually_ finding me? Before we found _each other_..."

"So, what? It wasn't fate or destiny, just... coincidence?"

"Why can't it be both?"

Barry stilled underneath Eddie and turned a contemplative gaze to the ceiling. He'd never thought about it like that. He hadn't forgotten about their meet-cute at the station, but when Barry thought back to how they'd met, when he told the story to others, it all began with their first cup of coffee together. Now that Eddie had put it into perspective, he saw that it truly was both. The note had put him in the station, but his own feelings and desires had attracted him to Eddie, before he could ever project years of wondering who he was onto him. Those feelings and desires hadn't been manufactured, on either side. Barry looked back at Eddie, a grin spreading across his face.

“I guess it _can_ be.”

“Damn right, it can be… _Now_. Will you, Bartholomew Henry Allen,” Eddie ignored the frown on Barry’s face at the use of his full name, “marry me?’

Barry’s frown melted way and he ran his fingers gently through Eddie’s hair, a happiness he’d never before felt welling up inside of him. “ _Yes_.” He whispered. “Yes, I’ll-” The rest was lost to the hard, possessive kiss Eddie pulled him to.

The next day, they sat down and made the calls to tell everyone the good news. Eddie’s mom had started to cry when they told her, and they could barely understand her congratulations through her ecstatic tears. Barry’s mom had been about the same, so much so that his dad had to take the phone from her, though they could clearly hear the unshed tears in his voice as he told them how proud he was.

Iris had screamed her head off in joy, causing Barry to hurriedly turn down the volume on the speakerphone so they wouldn’t go deaf. With the time difference from Central City to Coast City, they had decided to wait until that evening to call Eddie’s best friend Mallory, and had proceeded to get ready for work.

They had spent the rest of the day at the station thanking for people for their well-wishes after they’d broken the news to everyone, and Singh, who normally gave Barry a hard time for his chronic lateness, shook his hand with a smile, voice calm for once as he congratulated them. Joe had hugged him tight and whispered _congratulations, son_ in his ear, clapping him on the back hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Joe had then put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, squeezed it tight and told him that if he ever broke Barry’s heart, there’d be a dozen officers and detectives around to make sure they never found a body. Eddie had grinned feebly at that, but solemnly promised he would never hurt Barry.

The initial date for the wedding had been set for May the following year, but after learning that a case was heading to the Supreme Court that would have legalized their marriage across the country, Barry and Eddie had decided to postpone it. They had planned to travel out of state for the wedding, but getting married in Central City was something they both desperately wanted, so all their family and friends could see them exchange vows. So they had waited, biding their time just enjoying being engaged.

Barry focused himself on following the progression of the construction of S.T.A.R. Labs, spouting off about all the amazing technological advances it would provide for the world, and how much of a genius Harrison Wells was. Eddie had joked that he should be getting married to Wells instead of him, to which Barry had replied that he had no room to talk, seeing as Eddie had been obsessively monitoring stories of the Starling City vigilante. A playful fight had ensued, leading to their dinner being ruined, as Barry took Eddie to task right there on the dining room table, to remind who he _should_ have been obsessing over.

The next spring had been an eventful one, as Fred Chyre had retired and Eddie had been promoted to detective, replacing him as Joe’s partner. The excitement of achieving his dream had barely faded when a few months later, the news came out that gay marriage had been legalized. Iris had handed them the newspaper herself, snatching it off the presses of _The Picture News_ where she worked so she could gleefully present it to them.

A month later, with half the department crammed into the little hall of the justice of the peace, in front of his family and friends, Barry and Eddie had pledged their lives to one another. Peering into Eddie’s eyes, Barry had slipped the gold band onto his finger, not caring about all the impossible things that had led them to that moment, because it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they were there together and that he loved Eddie more than anything else in the world.

The reception afterward at police lodge had been a mad affair. The open bar had led to two fights breaking out, someone had caught Barry and Eddie fooling around in the bathroom, leading to Singh threatening them with an indecent exposure charge -before leaning in to whisper that he and his husband had used the lodge for _their_ reception and the best place for that sort of thing was the storage room behind the kitchens- and Iris and Eddie had to team up to separate his mother from her father. Joe had a tendency to attract the cougars, much to the delight of anyone who happened to be around when they came out of the woodwork for him, but with several cocktails in her, Barbara Thawne had been a little _too_ insistent with her affections toward Joe. Eddie had taken her outside, handed her a cup of coffee to sober her up, and heatedly told her that under _no_ circumstances was she allowed to sleep with his partner.

After the pictures had been taken, after Barry and Eddie unceremoniously shoved cake in each other’s faces, after Iris sobbed through her toast because she was so deliriously happy for the both of them, and after Barry parents had taken him aside to tell him how proud they were of him, and how glad they were that the mysterious note had led him to such unbelievable happiness, Barry and Eddie said goodbye to everyone before clambering into the limo that would take them to the airport.

They had spent two weeks in Coast City for their honeymoon, because it was cheaper than going out of the country, and because Eddie’s friend Mallory hadn’t been able to make it to the wedding, so they'd thought it'd be a great opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. They’d whiled away the days on the sunny beaches with her and her family, went to a new fancy restaurant every evening for dinner, and every night, they took advantage of the fact that the bungalow they’d rented had no immediate neighbors by having the loudest, most outrageous sex possible. When they’d returned to work to a chorus of wolf whistles and bawdy comments, they merely grinned at their friends and coworkers, knowing they’d more than earned the lascivious homecoming.

Years went by.

Married life was something that unexpectedly came naturally to them. They had both been aware of how easy it could be for things to become stale, working and living together, the constant familiarity a breeding ground for contempt, but the staleness never came. If anything, the passage of time only made their love for one another grow, and it bled over into their careers. Working together, they’d become something of a dynamic duo, Barry’s hard work and genius intellect leading to Eddie and Joe closing cases at a higher rate than any other detectives. Eddie started keeping score of his arrests, even though Joe and Barry razzed him about it mercilessly, keeping tabs on their work like that, but when the CSI director retired and Barry was promoted to his position, the razzing ceased almost immediately.

Barry had become the youngest director ever, and for the first several months, it had been an absolute dream. He got to be a part of the process, his ideas and decisions effecting how the department was run, and it had spurred him into becoming a better CSI and a better boss, because having been in the trenches, he was keenly aware of what needed to be done to run an efficient department. And it had been a thrill to hear Eddie address him by his formal title at crime scenes and during department meetings.

But the increased workload, the long hours, and the headaches that came with being in a position of authority –Barry had mentally apologized to Singh for every harsh word behind his back once he realized what the captain went through day after day- they all took a toll on both him and Eddie. His normally affable demeanor began fraying at the edges and under the added stress, he had just snapped when Eddie confronted him about how their relationship had started to suffer because of his constant absence from home.

Barry had accused him of making it worse, by expecting too much of him when he was already overworked, and the subsequent fight had almost come to blows between them. Eddie had tried to reason with him, that it was just a matter of doling out some of his responsibilities to the people who worked for him, so he wasn't always missing dinner, and dates, and get-togethers with their family, but Barry had escalated it, saying he was just pissed because he was now making more money than he was, and calling him a hypocrite because he'd shouldered extra responsibilities when he'd made detective, yet had expected him to just be _fine_ with it, like a good little _housewife_. Horrified that he'd stoop so low as to make such an accusation of him, Eddie had managed to see through his enraged vehemence and had told Barry to get out, before either of them said or did something they ended up regretting.

They spent over a month apart, Barry too angry to admit that Eddie had been right and Eddie too proud to just take him back without any resolution to their issues. To make things worse, Iris had taken Barry in, letting him crash on her couch, and though he’d never once in his life harbored any suspicions about them and their past relationship, the emotional hurt tinted Eddie's vision green. When Iris came into the station to see her father, or to interview an officer or to bring Barry his lunch because he’d forgotten it like he usually did, consoling him with arm around the shoulder and a kiss to his cheek, Eddie couldn’t stop himself from thinking that they had started hooking up. It wasn’t uncommon for such things to happen, and though Eddie felt horrid for slandering Iris, who was his _friend_ , he couldn’t help it.

The only upside to their separation was that because Barry was constantly swamped, Eddie never had to worry about making a scene after awkwardly bumping into him at the station. If he needed someone to run evidence up to the lab, he found a rookie to do it, and if Barry needed to send down results to the bullpen, he always passed the buck to one of his underlings. It had been petty, certainly, but it kept their dirty laundry from being aired in the precinct.

But one day, as Eddie sat in the apartment alone, scotch burning its way down his throat as he wondered if he should just give up the ghost and make the breakup official, there was a knock at the door. Heaving himself off the couch, Eddie went to the door, too tipsy to remember to look through the peephole before he opened it up. He blinked when he saw who it was.

“… Barry?”

“Hi.” Barry replied tentatively, giving him a little wave.

“You here to pick up your stuff?” Eddie asked, trying to keep the heartbreak out his voice.

“No, actually, uhm… I’m here to apologize.” He took the tumbler of scotch out of Eddie’s hand and down what was left, knowing he was going to need a little Dutch courage. He coughed at the burn and handed the tumbler back to Eddie. “You were right, and I was wrong.”

Raising his eyebrows at the admission, Eddie nodded his head, silently thanking him for being man enough to admit it. He then took a step back, motioning for Barry to come in so they didn’t have to have their conversation in the hallway. Smiling gratefully, Barry headed inside, shrugging out of his jacket. Eddie sat back down on the couch, setting the empty glass on the coffee table, and Barry perched himself on the arm of the recliner.

“I’m, uh, I’m sorry I put you through all this, Eddie. You didn’t deserve to be put second in my life. But I…” He ran his hand through his hair. “I let this new job take control of me. Director Matheson left some big shoes to fill, and everyone kept going on about how young I was, and I just. I needed to prove myself to them, y’know? Show them that I could be just as good, if not better than my predecessor, and that I could do the job, and do it _well_. I refused to ask for help from anyone, because I wanted them all to see how _good_ I was, and if I asked for help, I thought it would be admitting defeat. And I _refused_ to see how badly it was affecting _us_ , because doing so would just have been another defeat. I just kept fooling myself, pretending that everything was all right.”

“But it wasn’t.” Eddie said softly. “You disappeared on me, Bar. And I held my tongue for _so_ long because I knew how much you deserved the promotion. But I _hated_ it. I hated what the promotion turned you into.”

“I know, I know, and I’m sorry I put you through that. And I’m _so_ unbelievably sorry about our fight. I was just angry at _myself_ , for _allowing_ myself to think that it was more important to prove myself than to maintain our marriage. I knew how badly the new job was eating away at our relationship, but I thought if I just ignored it, maybe it would go away, and I thought that eventually, things would get better after I got settled in, but... they never did. And when you finally said something, it made it _real_ , and I couldn't ignore it any longer, and I _stupidly_ took that anger out on you. And then I just _stayed_ angry, because I thought I was being put in a position where I’d have to choose between you and the job I love. When you made detective, you took on more duties and I thought it was unfair that you got to do the hard job with no personal sacrifices. Then I remembered that we didn't have to make sacrifices because we still got to work _together_. That teamwork, us working tirelessly side by side, pushing the other to do better than their best, that's what gave you the best arrest record at the station, but being director meant I didn’t get to work with you as much, since I wasn't out in the field like I used to be, and we lost what made us great.”

Standing up, Barry moved over to the couch, kneeling down on the floor in front of Eddie. He clasped their hands together and looked up at Eddie imploringly. “It’s over now, though. And I want us to go back to being great together.”

Eddie stared down at him in confusion. “Over?" His eyes widened dramatically. "Did you _quit_ your job?”

“What? _No_! I _love_ my job. But I love you _more_.”

“So how is it over? What did you do?”

Barry grinned in embarrassment. “Well, I forgot that being in a position of power meant that I could actually _use_ that power. With a little creative budget shuffling, I hired two new techs, and was able to shift things around with the assistant director, so he could take some of the administrative workload off my hands. And I, uh…” He shook his head ruefully. “I created CCPD’s first college intern program, so students could get some on-the-job experience.”

“And you got Singh to _approve_ it?” Eddie asked, shock on his face. It was easier to move mountains than it was to effectively create change around the station, most of the officers sticking to the idea that if it wasn't broke, it didn't need to be fixed.

“Hey, I’m a genius, remember? I just showed him the spreadsheets I had mocked up, explained how it would be beneficial to us _and_ the community, all at little to no cost to the department _or_ the tax payers. It took a few days to _really_ convince him, but I put the proposal in the right hands and I got word back today that it had been approved. More employees in the department means more people to help with the work means more evidence getting processed, especially all the backlogged stuff, and more cases get closed. I look better for efficiently delegating responsibilities and streamlining the process so _no one_ is overworked, and I’ll no longer have to pull eighty hours plus work weeks. I like to think of it as a win-win for everyone. Including us.”

Eddie couldn’t believe it. Barry had used his authority to do something good for not just himself, but for all the people he worked with, and he'd done it all to make amends for what he'd done, so they could get back together. It was, without a doubt, the craziest romantic gesture anyone had ever made for him. "Barry, I... that's _amazing_. I can't believe you did all that."

Barry ran his thumbs over Eddie's fingers, slowly tracing the lines of his ring. "For you, I'd do _anything_. And I just hope you'll forgive me for not doing that _anything_ sooner."

Eddie pretended to think about it, lips turning down in a moue of contemplation. "Hmm... that's a tall order. You _did_ accuse me of some pretty awful things."

Not blind to what he was doing, Barry smothered a smirk and arched a faux indignant brow. "Yeah, well, _you_ kicked me out." He gasped when he was unexpectedly tugged forward, Eddie untangling their hands so he could wrap his arms around his shoulders. Eddie leaned forward, resting their foreheads together and Barry gasped again, quieter, and more reverent, overjoyed to be held by his husband once more.

"And _you_ left me here all alone, because you were too stubborn to admit you were wrong and come home." Eddie gazed into Barry's eyes, treasuring the look of love and adoration in them that he'd been missing for _far_ too long. "But it _was_ stupid... And I was too stubborn to extend an olive branch to you, even though I _hated_ every minute you were gone." He then wondered what would happen when Barry discovered the pillow he slept with at night, the one he'd stuffed into one of Barry's tees, because deep down inside, he was a lovelorn teenage girl.

"Hmm, you're right," Barry conceded, jarring Eddie from his musings, "you _were_ stupid. We were _both_ stupid, and too stubborn to see what was right in front of our faces. But not anymore." He reached up to brush his knuckles across Eddie's cheek. "I love you _so_ much, detective."

"I love _you_ so much, director."

Barry grinned and nudged their noses together, teasing Eddie with the ghost of a kiss. "Does that mean you forgive me?"

"Only if you forgive me in return." Eddie buried his fingers in Barry's thick hair, tightly gripping the strands to tilt his head back, their lips mere millimeters apart.

Barry responded by sealing their mouths together. The kiss was hard and hungry, all teeth and tongue as they burned off their pent up desires. They roughly devoured one another, delighting in the impassioned sounds their actions elicited, and Barry moved his hands between them, fingers fumbling on Eddie's belt and button-fly. Eddie groaned and broke the kiss with a loud _pop_. He sat back on the couch, quickly spreading his legs to give Barry more room to work in. Barry grinned up at him, salaciously licking his lips, and Eddie swore under his breath, thinking of all the ways he was going to wreck that gorgeously talented mouth, but something niggled at the back of his mind.

Sighing, Eddie scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to will the thought away. He _had_ Barry, _right_ there in front of him, ready to do the most wonderfully lewd things to him, but the thought just could not be banished. He slumped down and peered down at Barry, who was staring up at him with a wounded expression on his face.

"What?" He asked tentatively, a frown marring his features. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, God, _no_. You've done everything right and you look _so_ fucking beautiful right now..." Eddie reached down, cupping Barry's flushed cheek in his hand. He wanted so badly to ask the question, but he knew if he did, it would only lead to another fight, and he didn't want that. He wanted _Barry_. But he also wanted peace of mind, and the only way to get that was to ask. He squeezed his eyes shut and then shook his head, before opening his eyes once more. "Do you love me?" He asked breathlessly.

Barry looked up at him like he was crazy. "Of course I love you."

"... only me?"

A soft smile replaced Barry's frown, and he grabbed Eddie's wrist, turning his head to kiss his palm. It was obvious the question meant more to Eddie than he was trying to let on, and he understood why. They'd been separated for over a month and in similar situations, people had a tendency to work off their anger in the arms of a facilitating stranger. Or a friend who used to be their lover. Eddie didn't want to offend him by asking if he'd been unfaithful, thereby admitting he’d entertained the notion that he might have broken his vows, but he still needed the reassurance that in his anger, he hadn't gotten caught up in the heat of the moment with someone else.

"Only you." Barry replied, kissing his palm again before turning a baleful gaze on Eddie. "Do you love only me?" He asked, thinking turnabout was fair play.

"Only you." Eddie said with a relieved grin and he sat forward to press a chaste kiss to Barry's lips. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "For _everything_."

"No, it's okay." Barry kissed him back softly. "I'm just gonna make you pay for it by informing you that yes, Iris and I _did_ share a bed." He grinned mischievously when Eddie reared back, stunned by the admission, and he couldn't stop himself from laughing. "Because I was an inconsolable _mess_ ," Barry added, before Eddie had a heart attack, "and I spent two days in her bed crying my eyes out. But we were always fully clothed, which was actually kind of a bad thing, because she accused me ruining two of her shirts with my snot, but still. _Nothing_ happened."

Eddie let out a hysterical little laugh. "You _bastard_." He said with a grin.

"Hey! Don't question the marital status of my parents at the time of my conception. Besides," Barry shrugged nonchalantly, " _that's_ what you get for being stupid and jealous."

"Yeah, I totally deserved that one."

"Damn right. Now, are you gonna let me finish what I started," He tugged at Eddie's pants, "or are you gonna keep being a buzzkill by seeing green?"

"By all means," Eddie said, sliding his hands into Barry's hair, to gently push his head down, "carry on..."

Later on, tangled up in the sheets on their bed, Eddie and Barry lay on their sides, Barry's back pressed to Eddie's sweat-slicked chest. Eddie tenderly kissed the back of his neck, over the fading rings of teeth marks, fingertips tracing the jutting curves of Barry's hip. "You know," He started quietly, nuzzling Barry's shoulder, "now that things are going to go back to the way they used to be, and now that you're making _a lot_ more money..."

When he trailed off, Barry lifted his head up from where he'd had it pillowed on Eddie's bicep and peeked back at him from out of the corner of his eye. "What about it?"

Eddie sucked in a shuddering breath, hand moving to grip his hip, as if to brace himself. "We can afford a surrogate now."

Feeling his heart skip a beat, Barry shifted around on the bed, so that he was facing Eddie. They'd talked about starting a family before, a year or so after getting married, but had come to a dead end when they'd started doing their research. Adoption was a long, drawn-out process that could end up taking years, and if they opted for a quicker overseas adoption, the fees were exorbitant, when they calculated the travel costs back and forth, and the time missed from work. A surrogate seemed the best way, as the kid would be _theirs_ , but it was also expensive, and if they weren't careful with the legal documents, they'd run the risk of the surrogate deciding she wanted to keep the child, and would have ended up paying for nothing more than disappointment.

After reading that, they'd put having kids on the back burner, thinking it was best to save up to afford a surrogate agency with a sterling record and a good lawyer who could protect their interests. The pragmatism had been hard to stomach, after getting their hopes up, but they knew they needed to do it the right way, much as it hurt to do so.

Barry placed his hand on Eddie's chest, feeling his heart beat erratically at the idea of finally having the family they'd always wanted. "Is this the fight talking?" He asked tentatively. "Or are you really being serious about it?"

Eddie covered Barry's hand with his own. " _Of course_ I'm being serious. What kind of monster would that make me, using a kid just to repair a relationship?" He tipped his head forward and brushed their lips together. "We finally have our chance, and there's nothing in this world I want more than to have kids with you." Eddie blinked, eyes sliding to the side as he thought about what he just said. "I mean, not _with_ _you_ with you, because that'd be _impossible_ , but you know... _with_ you." He saw Barry trying his hardest not to laugh in his face, and Eddie narrowed his eyes. "You _know_ what I mean, smartass!"

"I do, I _do_ ," Barry said with mock seriousness, lips wobbling with the force it took to squash his grin, "but I can't help it, I just _love_ it when _you're_ the one with word vomit, not me."

"I want a divorce." Eddie replied flatly, before gasping in pain when Barry ripped his hand away to punch his arm. Barry then quickly pushed him down onto his back and clambered on top of him, using his weight to pin him to the mattress.

Barry bent down, resting his forehead against Eddie's, his hands coming up to gently cradle his cheeks, thumbs rubbing slow circles through his stubble. He gazed adoringly at the gorgeous man beneath him, who completed him in ways he never could have imagined, even with the mysterious note. Yes, they had their fights, though this one had been the worst by far, but they always found their way through them, by remembering how much they loved and respected one another.

Hell, the man loved him so much that even when they'd been separated, he couldn't bear the thought of sleep without him, and had created a Barry pillow to curl up with at night. It had thrown off their lovemaking for a solid twenty minutes, as Barry had been too busy howling with laughter after he'd discovered Eddie's creation, but it was just more proof that their love would continue to see them through the good times and the bad, and now, they were on the precipice of bringing a new life into the love they shared.

"Yes."

"Yes to the divorce? You know I was joking about that, right?" He smoothed his hands up and down Barry's sides. "I am _never_ letting you go, not again."

"No, you _dork_ ," Barry said with a laugh, shivering under Eddie's touch, "yes to the _other_ thing."

"Yes?" Eddie breathed, heart thumping once more. He dug his fingers into Barry's skin, trying to contain the sheer sense of elation that was washing over him.

" _Yes_."

Lifting his head up, Eddie grinned madly swept Barry into an impassioned kiss, feeling happier than he'd ever felt before in his entire life. This man, this beautiful, intelligent, caring _soul_ had somehow allowed him into his life, agreed to become his husband, and now they were going to share in the greatest gift ever, and Eddie wondered what he'd done in a previous life to deserve all his current blessings. Whatever it had been, whatever events had led to that note ending up in Nora and Henry's hands, Eddie would always be eternally grateful.


	2. Everything In Its Right Place

Over the next several weeks, Barry and Eddie had begun their research once more, sifting through innumerable different surrogacy agencies, wanting to find the best one for what they could afford. Barry had sat down with his laptop and gone through their finances, to forecast their income versus their expenses, so they'd not end up becoming flat broke with a newborn child to take care of.

Once they'd had their finances in order, and a few names of some agencies, they began investigating their reputations, slyly using their police resources to make sure the agencies were on the up and up. After the list had been whittled down to one place, Eddie had used his connections in the district attorney's office to be put in contact lawyer who could draw up ironclad documents for the surrogate they'd hired to sign.

The only problem that had presented itself was which of them would be providing the sample. They were both going to be the fathers, but it was a matter of who was going to be the _actual_ donor. Both of them wanted children, but they didn't want the other to think they were being selfish by immediately offering themselves up.

Barry's family had a penchant for geniuses, on both sides, while Eddie's family had a streak of ingenuity and acumen, most of his relatives being renowned politicians and businessmen. Both their families had their share of illnesses, but nothing so catastrophic as to risk giving birth to an unhealthy baby. When they'd come to an impasse trying to determine who the biological father would be, Barry had sat back with a sigh and suggested they just flip a coin so fate could decide.

Eddie had been thrown by the suggestion, but with no other options in sight, he dug a penny out of his pocket, flipped it in the air while calling out tails -which made Barry snort and mutter under his breath about Eddie being a consummate power top- caught it and slapped it onto the back of his hand. Holding their breaths, they'd leaned in as Eddie removed the hand covering the penny and saw that it was tails. Eddie had nearly passed out from lightheadedness afterwards, deliriously giddy at the idea that he was going to be a father.

Once it had been all said and done, it had all come down to selecting their surrogate and after much debate, Eddie chose a woman who shared Barry's likeness, stating that he wanted the child to be a part of them as much as possible. She was tall, thin, with thick brown hair and wide green eyes, and even Barry had to admit, on the street, if people hadn't known who they were, they might have possibly been confused for siblings. Deals about compensation and care were made, contracts and adoption paperwork were signed, and all that had been left was informing the future grandparents.

Barry and Eddie had made the trip out to Keystone City, visiting Barbara first since they rarely got a chance to see her. They'd treated her to a nice dinner and over dessert, they told her the news. Only years of being the wife of a politician, practiced in the art of maintaining her composure, had kept her from openly sobbing with joy in the middle of the restaurant. She'd clutched at Eddie's hand, tears welling up in her eyes, and she had to fan herself for a moment, claiming she was just a little verklempt. On the car ride back to her house, however, the floodgates opened full force, ecstatic through her tears about being a grandmother.

The reaction from Barry's parents had been _much_ different. Nora had been certainly been thrilled, all but bouncing around the house in glee, but it had been Henry that had broken down in tears. He'd hugged Barry and Eddie to him, telling them that the greatest thing a father could hope for, that his own son would become a father, too, and that now he'd know, they'd _both_ know, just how much he truly loved them. Nora had ended up passing around a tissue box to Henry, Barry, _and_ Eddie, so they could dry their eyes and blow their noses, rolling her eyes as they claimed that it was just something in the air.

When they had told Joe the news, a few days later at work, he'd been absolutely thrilled for them, but when they'd asked him if he'd like to be the godfather, Joe had pulled them into bone crushing hugs, thanking them for the honor with an emotion roughened voice.

When Iris had learned she was going to be an aunt, she'd been nigh inconsolable and they'd both ended up with her leeched onto them, promising that she'd do everything she could to be the best aunt ever to their son or daughter, though the vehement promises had been a little hard to understand, considering how hard she'd been crying.

On October Seventh, 2020, they had received word from their surrogate that the insemination had taken and that she was pregnant. On December Eleventh, 2020, the particle accelerator at S.T.A.R. Labs had finally gone online, but unexpectedly malfunctioned, sending out a devastating blast into the city. Barry, who'd been too busy working to attend the event, had been watching on his computer in his lab when the city went dark and a bolt of lightning struck him.

Eddie had been out interviewing a witness when the grid went down and had ended up doing damage control on the streets with a handful of officers when Singh had come over the radio, informing him that Barry's body had been found in his lab, a victim of the accelerator fallout. There was a long pause in which Eddie's whole world shattered into a million pieces, before Singh had told him that Barry was alive, but barely, and had been rushed to the hospital.

In a daze and barely able to breathe around the band that had tightened around his lungs, Eddie had made his way to the hospital, which was a war zone unto itself. Doctors and nurses raced around the darkened halls, trying to handle all the incoming critical cases as the power from the generators faded in and out. Most people were shouting, others were crying, candy stripers pitching in to help the nurses separate emergency cases from the non-emergencies. Eddie had managed to find out where Barry had been taken and had made his way to the curtained off area the receptionist had directed him to, but he'd not been prepared whatsoever for what he found.

The power flickered on and off again as a team of doctors surrounded Barry, hitting him with the defibrillator paddles again and again and again, trying to restart his heart. Covering his mouth with a hand at the sight of Barry draped in tubes and wiring, a tube jammed down his throat that connected him to a respirator, Eddie had watched in horror as the doctors tried to bring him back from the brink.

Finally, the heart monitor pinged with a sign of life, and Eddie had never heard a more beautiful sound. He had almost collapsed onto the floor in relief, but Henry, Nora and Iris had appeared from behind him, and Henry put a supportive arm around him, to keep him standing. Eddie had never been so glad to have a doctor in the family, as Henry spoke to the attending physician to find out what had happened to his son. There had been a lot of technical jargon floated around, but after the attending had rushed off to help someone else, Henry had translated it all for them, his face pale and drawn.

Barry was alive and there had been no discernable damage to his brain from the lightning strike, but the doctors couldn't figure out why his heart kept stopping, or why he kept seizing, despite the cardiac events. He'd slipped into a coma, and there was no prognosis on how long it could last. Once they got a chance, they were going to move him to the intensive care unit, but they weren't sure he was going to make it.

They had waited for hours at Barry's bedside for him to be moved, helpless to do anything as Barry flat lined and seized over and over. They'd watched with bated breath as the doctors resuscitated him each time, fearing that at any moment, Barry would leave them forever. During the night, Eddie had gone through the plastic bag of Barry's personal effects out from under his bed and dug through it, fishing out his wedding ring. He placed the bag back under the bed and had palmed the ring, clutching at it like a lifeline, as though if he just prayed hard enough, channeling his love through the ring, Barry would find his way back to them.

At some point early the next morning, the doctors had come to transfer Barry to the ICU, and Iris told them that she needed to leave, as she was expected at work in a few hours. They'd promised to let her know if anything changed and after she'd hugged them all, she had bent over Barry's bed to kiss his forehead, telling him that if he didn't get better, she was going to kick his ass, sick or not. Eddie had managed to laugh through his tears, knowing if anyone could put the fear of God into an unconscious person, it was Iris.

Several days later, a solemn looking doctor had entered Barry's room and had sat down with Eddie, Nora, and Henry. He'd carefully explained that while Barry seemed strong, holding on despite the anomalous heart stoppages and seizing, there was going to come a point where keeping him alive would do more harm than good. They could only keep restarting his heart for so long before it started having adverse effects, and though the lightning strike hadn't caused brain damage, the constant seizing eventually would. The doctor informed them that they needed to start considering taking Barry off life support, and Nora had lost it.

She'd started to sob and all Eddie could do was wrap his arms around her, consoling her as he'd stared wide-eyed at Henry, looking to him for guidance. As his husband, end-of-life decisions fell to him, but as Henry was the doctor, Eddie had trusted him more to know which call to make.

The doctor had quietly left, leaving them to discuss their options, and they'd all just sat there in silence, not knowing what to say, what they _could_ say. Barry had no will, but they were all keenly aware of his wishes, and if there was no chance he'd recover with his faculties intact, he'd not want to be kept on life support, forcing his loved ones to watch him waste away. But if they gave up hope now, before knowing what was really wrong with him, they'd regret it forever. It wasn't a decision to be made lightly, but they had to consider what was best for Barry, not just for them.

There was a knock on the door and they turned to see a tall, well-dressed dark haired woman standing in the doorway, an uneasy smile of greeting on her face. Henry stood up and walked over to her. "I'm sorry, can we help you?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt," She said, looking from Henry to Eddie and Nora, "but my name is Dr. Caitlin Snow, and I'm here because there's someone who wants to speak with you about your son, if that's all right."

Henry gave her a confused look, and Caitlin leaned back out of the doorway to motion to someone and after a moment, she was joined by none other than Harrison Wells. Nora and Eddie rushed to their feet and Henry glared at him angrily.

"You!" He shouted, before remembering he was in a hospital and immediately lowered his voice. " _You_ did this!"

Harrison raised his hands in a placating gesture and stepped into the room, Caitlin following behind him. "I know, and that's _exactly_ the reason why I'm here. I can apologize to you until I'm blue in the face, to the _all_ the families I've hurt, to the media, but apologies and platitudes aren't going to help your son. Only _action_ will."

"And what are _you_ going to do that the doctors here _can't_?" Nora asked, folding her arms defensively across her chest.

"I'm going to _save_ your son, Mrs. Allen. Dr. Snow, if you please." Harrison reached back and Caitlin placed a tablet and a bundle of wires in his hand. "Since the accelerator malfunctioned, I've made sure to keep apprised of relief efforts and the people who have been directly affected by the explosion, assisting in any way I can, both personally and monetarily. I've kept in contact with the hospital administrators, so as to make sure I can help with the care of the people who are in here because of me." He walked around the bed and plugged the wires into the tablet. "Keep in mind that nothing I've been told would break doctor-patient confidentiality, but when I learned of your son's condition, I found myself intrigued."

The wires ended in ECG electrodes and Harrison proceeded to push aside Barry's gown, to stick the electrodes to his chest.

"Now wait just a minute!" Henry said, hurrying over to Barry's bedside. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

Taking a step back, Harrison held up his hand again. "I'm asking you to _trust_ me, Mr. Allen, because your son's life _depends_ on that trust." For a moment, he and Henry locked gazes, taking careful measure of one another, and after seeing something in his eyes, Henry nodded his head minutely. Harrison turned back to Barry, making sure the electrodes were firmly in place.

Eddie reached out to Nora, taking her hand in his. At this point, any hope was better than none at all, and Eddie was ready to put all his faith in Harrison Wells, if he was so adamant that Barry could be saved. They had a kid on the way, and he wanted to believe that Barry could get better, so he'd be there to see their child born. With rapt attention, he watched Harrison tap away on the tablet, conversing quietly with Caitlin, who had joined him at Barry's bedside. Caitlin then looked up at all of them.

"Crass as it is, we need to wait for another seizure to confirm our hypothesis. If you don't mind us waiting here in the room with you?" When no one said anything otherwise, she and Harrison left briefly to find some chairs, bringing them into the room so they could sit. There was no telling how long it would take for the next seizure to present itself, so they might as well get comfortable.

About an hour later, two more people entered the room, and Caitlin and Harrison tried to blend into the walls, not wanting to intrude anymore than they already had on their private family moments.

Joe and Iris hesitated for a second after they walked in, seeing two strangers sitting beside Barry's bed, but continued on in when it seemed that they were meant to be there. They recognized Harrison Wells, his face having been plastered on every newspaper and report since the explosion, but said nothing, as they'd obviously let him in for some reason or another. Joe moved to stand behind Henry's chair and clapped him on the shoulder, as Iris set her purse down on the floor before hugging Nora.

"How's he doing?" She asked, drawing back to look down at Nora.

"Still hanging in there, sweetie. You know how strong he is."

" _Stubborn_ is more like it."

Nora smiled for the first time in days. "He gets it honest." She said, eyeing Henry for passing down his ox-like stubbornness to Barry. Huffing out a laugh, Henry placed his hand over Nora's, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze.

The humor seemed to leave the room as quickly as it entered, and they became contemplative once more. Iris stepped sideways and stood over Eddie, looping her arms around his shoulders, clasping her hands together over his chest, and bent forward to drop a kiss to the crown of his head. She then looked over at the two new occupants in the room. "Are you two friends of Barry's?"

"No," Eddie started, "they're here because they think they can help Barry."

Iris and Joe perked up. "Seriously?" Joe asked. "You know what's wrong with him?"

"We _believe_ we know what's wrong, and we're here to confirm that belief." Harrison told him.

"We're just waiting for the onset of another seizure, so we can monitor the readings." She smiled up at Iris. "Are you Barry's wife?"

"Ah, _no_. That honor belongs to this one right here." Iris gave Eddie a playful squeeze and he snorted derisively.

"Better wife than _you'll_ ever be." He muttered, tipping his head back to glare up at her teasingly.

Caitlin flushed in embarrassment. "I'm _so_ sorry, I just assumed... the information we have was limited. Male, thirty, married, no children, presenting with abnormal cardiac events and seizure clusters. Anything else would have been a breach of-"

The monitors began wailing as Barry started to seize, the bed shaking violently underneath him and the awful flat line sound filled the room as his heart stopped. Caitlin and Harrison all but flew out of their chairs, as did everyone else, as they knew the drill, get away from the bed so the doctors and nurses could do their work. Almost as if on cue, the doctors raced in, calling out orders, but Harrison yelled for everyone to stop, and they stared at him like a crazy person.

"If you try to restart this man's heart, you'll _kill_ him!" He spun the tablet around, and there for everyone to see was a heart rhythm. Despite the fact that machine he was hooked up to was blaring that his heart had stopped, the tablet showed them that his heart was beating so rapidly that the machine was picking it up as negative rhythm. The doctor ripped the tablet from Harrison's hands and peered down at it.

"That's _impossible_. At this rate, his heart should have already exploded."

"It's most obviously possible, as you're _seeing_ it." Caitlin said primly. "You need to stop all use of defibrillators and stop use of whatever anti-seizure medication you're giving him." The monitors suddenly ceased in their shrilling and began beeping in time with a regular heart beat. The doctors and nurses just stood there, shocked at the sight. It normally took them several minutes to restart his heart, but after only a minute, with no life-saving measures, his vitals had returned to normal. " _You're_ the ones who have been making his condition worse."

Caitlin looked to Barry's family. "I'm officially requesting that you remit Barry into my medical care. Dr. Wells is willing to cover his expenses, and if you agree to transfer him to our facility, he'll cover those expenses as well."

"You can't be serious!" The doctor said, offended at the assumption that they couldn't take care of their patient.

"Oh, I _am_." Caitlin retorted icily and Harrison had to duck his head, to hide the grin on his face. She seemed to be a reserved, tightly buttoned individual, but when it came down to it, she stuck to her guns with an admirable ferocity. And considering her recent loss, she was even more insistent to save every life they could. "If I had privileges at this hospital, I would have asked to become his new attending physician, but seeing as I don't, the only course of action is to move him to a facility where his doctors aren't trying to _kill_ him, unintentional though that may be."

Dumbstruck, the doctor looked to Henry, and Henry looked to Eddie. "It's up to you, son." He said, though he knew Eddie would make the right choice.

Realizing that all eyes were on him, Eddie scrubbed at his face, unsure of what to do. Harrison Wells was the reason Barry was in this predicament to begin with, but he'd discovered something that a whole team of doctors hadn't been able to find. Those doctors had only promised them a tragic end, whereas Harrison and Caitlin had given them hope. He thought of their unborn child, and the choice was clear.

"I want Dr. Snow to oversee my husband's care." He said firmly. Eddie peered across the room at Caitlin, putting all his faith in her abilities. "Whatever paperwork you need filled out for the transfer, draw it up and I'll sign it."

Once the proper forms had been filed and Barry had been moved to S.T.A.R. Labs, after countless reassurances that though FEMA had shut them down, the site was safe and contained all the cutting edge technology needed to take care of Barry, the waiting had resumed, but this time, their hope had been renewed. The seizures had stopped almost immediately, and all the tests they'd run showed that his heart was healthy, and getting better, despite the intermittent rapid beats.

Eddie had gone back to work after the holidays, though Singh and Joe had lightened his workload considerably, not wanting his personal life to affect his work. While he'd appreciated it, he'd been craving the distraction, needing something to take his mind off Barry's condition. He'd still not woken up from his coma, but Caitlin had assured him that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

At first, that had assuaged him, but the weeks turned into months, and nothing continued to happen. Barry didn't get worse, but he didn't get better. Six months had gone by, six long, lonely months, and each day, Eddie felt more and more like a widower, hanging on to nothing more than a ghost, and he'd begun to wonder if it was past time to let Barry go.

On June Second, 2021, Barry had opened his eyes, and the world around him descended into chaos. Strange people that he'd never before seen buzzed around him, getting readings, poking and prodding at his skin, forcing him to stay still as they removed the catheter he was hooked to, along with all the IVs, one of them talking a mile a minute as they worked, and Barry could barely take it all in. It was too much too fast, and one of them had seemed to realize it, as there had been a sharp word, followed by silence.

Once things had calmed down, he was filled in on what had happened to him. A lightning strike, a coma, endless bouts of heart failure and seizures, before they'd figured out what was wrong with him. Harrison Wells -who Barry had felt in awe of, despite feeling somewhat jetlagged- had explained to him the malfunction of the accelerator, the explosion of the underground ring and the resultant expulsion of dark matter into the atmosphere.

Cisco, one of the people who had been taking care of him, handed him a bag filled with his clothes, and Barry had gotten dressed as they talked, not shy at all, as they'd probably seen worse of him while he was unconscious. Though his clothes had been washed at some point, they still carried the faint scent of ozone and burnt metal, from where the rivets in his jeans had been cooked by the lightning. Still, it was better than going around naked. Once he’d finished dressing, he'd tipped the bag over, giving it a shake, but nothing fell out.

When he'd asked where his wedding band was, Caitlin informed him that Eddie had taken it, back when he'd still been at the hospital. It was at that point that he began panicking, claiming he had to go, that he had to see Eddie and his parents. Caitlin traded looks with Cisco and Harrison, before explaining that they’d prefer if he stayed so they could run some tests, but Barry had flat out refused, firmly putting his foot down and using what Eddie had referred to as his _boss voice_. Odd expressions appeared on all their faces, but they hesitatingly acquiesced, and Caitlin had reached for her purse, offering to give him a ride home.

Barry had then shaken Harrison and Cisco's hands, profusely thanking them for taking care of him, and then hightailed it out of there, anxious to see Eddie. Before dropping him off, Caitlin had told Barry that should anything happen to him, if he'd experienced anything abnormal, to get a hold of them right away, as there may have been some unforeseeable side-effects from his coma. Not one to take a chance with his health, Barry had promised her that if he noticed anything, he’d race right back to S.T.A.R. Labs. They then said their goodbyes and Barry had gotten out of the car, nearly tripping on his way out of the passenger seat in his eagerness to get home.

Standing outside the door to their apartment, he realized that he didn’t have his key. When he’d gone into the precinct to work, the night of the accident, he’d set his key ring, cell phone, wallet, and ID lanyard on his desk, and as such, they hadn’t been included in his personal effects. He knocked on the door, but no one answered, and it had occurred to him that at that time of day, Eddie might not be home, that he could very well be at the station. Any other time, he could have just gone down to maintenance to see if they could let him in, but without any ID on him to confirm he was a resident, they would have just laughed in his face.

Closing his eyes and saying a silent prayer, he put his hand on the knob and turned it. It opened up and Barry thanked a lapse in Eddie’s judgment, for if he hadn’t thought to check the lock behind him before he left, he’d have been stuck walking to the station unshowered and smelling like exposed electrical wiring. Stepping inside and closing the door behind him, Barry turned around, but stopped short when he saw Eddie stretched out on the couch, face down in the pillows, fast asleep. If he hadn’t heard the knocking, it meant he was dead to the world. It was a rare thing, but on days when he’d been overworked or overstressed, he could have slept through World War III.

Barry crept over to him, soaking in the sight of him. Though six months had gone by, to him, it seemed as if only a day had passed since they’d last seen each other. It was almost unimaginable, to have gone so long without seeing Eddie, touching him, kissing him, telling him how much he loved him, but Barry had seen the proof of it himself. Not just in his medical records, but on the drive over. The streets hadn’t been slick with winter rain, Christmas lights strung up on every house and building. The official start of summer was only a few weeks away, and the once bare trees were thick with foliage once more. Six long months apart, and Barry couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard it must have been for Eddie, watching him in a coma, unsure of when he’d wake up again, or if he would at all.

Holding out a hand to card his fingers through Eddie’s hair, to wake him up and let him know he was back, Barry froze when he heard a sound coming from the bedroom, and he instinctively knew someone else was in the apartment. He whipped his head around, waiting to see if he heard it again. If someone had broken in, they wouldn’t have stuck around once they’d spotted Eddie on the couch, though it would explain why the front door had been unlocked. But no thief would be so ballsy has to rob a place while the occupant was right there in the living room, no matter how deeply they were sleeping.

Another thought pushed its way into his head, one that chilled Barry to the core. He’d been in a coma for six months, with no assurances to Eddie or his family that he’d ever come out of it. What if Eddie had moved on, deciding it wasn’t worth it to wait for him? It wasn’t in Eddie’s nature to do such a thing, to just give up, but what else would explain the strange presence.

Hearing the noise again, Barry backed away from the couch and moved down the hallway, tiptoeing across the carpet. He didn’t really have a plan in mind, if he came face to face with a burglar, or with, God forbid, Eddie’s new lover, but he knew he couldn’t just stand around in the living room, unsure of what was going on in his own home. Edging around the corner of the bedroom doorway, Barry peeked inside, laying eyes on the source of the noise, and the world dropped out from beneath his feet.

At the end of their bed was a crib. Barry’s heart skipped several beats and it suddenly became hard to breathe.

 _Oh, my God, I forgot. This was probably why everyone was acting so strange, I hadn’t asked and they knew I was going home. God, how could I have forgotten about_ this? Entering the room, Barry made his way over to the crib and saw his child for the first time. There, wrapped up in a thick blanket and fussing about in its sleep was the perfect child he’d always dreamed of. He didn’t even know if it was a boy or a girl, but it was still perfect in every way. An adorable button nose, round cheeks, and ten fingers curled up in little fists that swayed about in the air as it dreamed about whatever babies dreamed about.

Barry bent over the crib, senses overwhelmed with the sight and smell of the tiny, fragile creature wriggling about. “Hey there, little… person.” He said quietly, voice thick with emotion.

Reaching down into the crib, he held out a finger to entice the baby’s hand open and with a little sigh, those fingers curled around his, squeezing it as tightly as it could. For the third time in his life, Barry fell absolutely head over heels in love, and he instantly understood what his father had meant when he said that in having a child, they’d know how much he loved them. Deep down in his bones, he knew that, and more. In that moment, he knew that if it came down to it, he would _die_ for this child, that he would _kill_ for this child, if it meant keeping it safe. Rubbing his thumb oh so gently over the baby’s fingers, Barry smiled brilliantly, feeling _whole_ for the first time in his life. Eddie completed him in every way possible, but now, now he had _purpose_ , something to live for beyond himself.

There was an ominous click from behind him, and Barry froze, more than familiar with _that_ particular sound.

“Put your hands in the air and back away from the crib slowly.”

He was more than familiar with that voice as well, and just how deadly the person attached to that voice was with a firearm, especially at so close a range. Doing as he was told, Barry carefully pulled his finger out of the baby’s grip and put his hands in the air. “Eddie, it’s _me_.” He said as he backed up several paces and slowly spun around.

The expression on Eddie’s face would have been hilarious, if the situation hadn’t been so serious. Lethal focus morphed into disbelieving shock and then into horror when he realized he had a gun drawn on his husband. Thumbing the hammer back into place, he lowered the gun, flipping the safety on. He spared two seconds to set the gun on the nightstand before he rushed Barry, wrapping him up in a fierce embrace.

“Jesus, _Barry_.” He breathed, tears blurring his vision. “You’re _awake_. Oh, God, you’re _awake_.” A weight that had been pressing down on him for months vanished and Eddie buried his face in Barry’s neck. He hugged Barry tighter, joy and relief replaced the fear he’d been living with for _so_ long. “You scared the _shit_ out of me.” He said with a hysterical chuckle. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I tried to.” Barry replied, smoothing his hand up and down Eddie’s back. “I knocked, but no one answered.”

Eddie pulled back and gave Barry a confused look. He knew for a fact that he had Barry’s keys, and since he’d brought the baby home, he’d been living in lockdown mode, barely leaving the apartment, except to get the mail. Fatherhood was something wholly new to him, and while he adjusted to it, Eddie had been relying on Nora, Henry, and Iris to keep him fed and updated on Barry. There shouldn't have been any way for him to get in, not without breaking down the door. “How did you get in?”

“You left the door unlocked. And now I know why.” Eddie zonked out on the couch, dark circles clearly visible under his slightly reddened eyes, and it was clear why the door had been mistakenly left unlocked. Barry doubted Eddie had gotten a solid night’s sleep in a long time, and prolonged sleep deprivation made it hard to perform even the most ingrained tasks. “You look exhausted.”

“I _feel_ exhausted.” Eddie said with a sigh. “But it’s been _worth_ it.” Cupping Barry’s cheek, he leaned in for a kiss, almost crying for being able to do such a thing again. He'd almost started to give up hope, and holding Barry, feeling his skin, kissing him again after all these months, Eddie had never felt so foolish in all his life. Leaning back, he swiped a thumb under Barry’s lip and fixed him in a warm gaze. “Do you want to hold your son?”

Barry felt a pleasant jolt arc down his spine and grinning, he nodded emphatically. “ _Yes_ … yes, I do.” Kissing that grin, Eddie let go of him to make his way over to the crib, and Barry trailed behind him. "How old is he?" He asked quietly, wondering how much of his son's life he'd missed out on.

"Thirteen days. He was born a week early, but the doctor's said he was perfectly healthy. Ten fingers, ten toes, and lungs like you wouldn’t believe." With the utmost care, he lifted the baby up into his arms, murmuring softly as he cradled him gently to his chest. Turning around slowly, Eddie held out the baby. “Barry, I want you to meet Ethan Bartholomew Thawne.”

Carefully taking Ethan from Eddie and making sure he was properly supported, Barry held him close, swaying slightly to keep him asleep. “If I wasn’t so happy right now,” He said quietly to Eddie, not once looking up from Ethan, “I’d kill you for sticking this beautiful baby with a name as horrible as Bartholomew.”

“Hey,” Eddie said defensively, “I was going with tradition. You have your dad’s name as your middle name, same with your dad and his father’s name… I thought it was best to keep it going. And Ethan Edward sounded too alliterative.” Eddie’s voice became distant. “And I didn’t know if… I wanted him to have something of yours, in case…”

Barry moved in Eddie’s personal space, nudging their noses together before tipping his head to the side to sweep Eddie into long, lingering kiss, reassuring him with languorous swipes of his tongue that he was alive, they were together, and that everything would be all right. He was mindful not to jostle the baby, and Eddie brought up his hands to brace himself on Barry’s arms, to keep from trapping the baby between them. Their care was in vain, however, as the baby somehow seemed to sense that he was not the center of attention and woke up with a wail. Eddie broke away immediately, going into parenting mode. Not smelling anything, he figured it was the other end that needed taking care of.

“Stay here, I’ll go grab a bottle.”

Excited at the prospect of feeding him, Barry nodded and smiled as Eddie rushed off. The smile vanished though, when time suddenly distorted around him. Sound faded away into nothing and he watched as Eddie seemed to move in slow motion. Barry looked around, trying to figure out why he was moving normally, while nothing else was, when the distortion stopped and Eddie had completely disappeared from sight.

 _If you experience anything abnormal_ …

Nervously, Barry placed Ethan back in the crib, feeling like an asshole to just leave him squalling instead of comforting him, but he knew something was wrong, and it was better to be the asshole than to risk harming the baby. Backing away, he felt himself shaking, but it took him a moment to realize it wasn’t from fear. Raising his arms, Barry’s eyes widened. He wasn’t just shaking, he was _vibrating_ , so much so that the motion was nothing more than a speeding blur.

"Eddie..." He called out, voice laced with fear and trepidation.

"Just a sec, I'll be right in." Eddie replied.

"No, I need you _now_!"

There was a clatter from the kitchen, followed by hurried footsteps and Eddie reappeared in the bedroom. "What is it, what's-" He stopped when he saw Barry's arms moving faster than his eyes could track. "What the hell...?"

"I don't know! It just started happening!" Barry looked to Eddie, as if begging him to know someway to make it stop, but it was beyond the both of them. As quickly as it started, the vibrating stopped, and Barry flexed his fingers nervously. "Something's wrong, something..." Swallowing thickly, he lowered his arms. It felt as though something was seeping into him, building up exponentially, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what would happen once it did. "I have to go." Barry rushed out of the room, blindly aiming for the door and wishing he'd thought to take Caitlin's number before getting out of her car.

"Barry, _stop_! I'm coming with you!"

He heard Eddie come up from behind him, but Barry shook his head. "No, I have to go _now_ , I have to get back to S.T.A.R. Labs, and you can't leave Ethan."

"Then wait two seconds while I get him ready and we can all go together. I haven't had a chance to take him to meet everyone down there anyway, so-"

The front door suddenly opened and Barry and Eddie swiveled their heads around to see Joe standing in the doorway, a stack of case jackets in his hand and a stunned expression on his face.

"My God..." Joe breathed, overcome with emotion at seeing Barry up and moving once more. "I thought I heard your voice." He’d come over to see Eddie and Ethan, to make sure they were both doing okay, and to ask Eddie to look over the string of strange bank robberies in the city. No one could make heads or tails of it, and though Eddie was on paternity leave, Joe thought it wouldn’t hurt to get a fresh set of eyes on the case. Approaching the door however, he’d heard raised voices, one of them sounding eerily like Barry’s, and he’d just barged in through the door, almost not daring to hope.

He made a beeline for Barry, his eyes misting up at the sight of him alive, awake, and healthy, but Barry held up his hands to keep him from getting too close. A hurt expression marred Joe's features, but Eddie put a panicked hand on his shoulder to hold him back.

"Something's wrong with Barry. He needs to get to S.T.A.R. Labs." Eddie worried his lower lip anxiously, not wanting to be apart from Barry after so long without him, but he knew this couldn't wait. "Joe, please, can you take him, and I'll meet up with you both later?" He looked at Joe pleadingly, but it was unnecessary, as he wasn’t the kind of person who needed convincing to help someone, especially when that someone was family.

“Yeah, yeah, my car’s parked right outside.” He was glad he’d driven the station’s plainclothes car over, as it had a detachable bubble siren and they’d be able to cut through traffic on the way to S.T.A.R. Labs. Joe waved the case jackets at Barry, hurriedly motioning for him to leave. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Barry nodded his head, shooting one last wide-eyed look at Eddie. He could hear Ethan, still crying his little heart out in the bedroom, and Barry felt absolutely miserable for leaving again, after _just_ coming back, after just discovering his _son_ , but if he wasn't safe to be around, if he wasn't out of the woods just yet, he _had_ to leave, for their safety.

Seeing Barry's expression before he turned to follow Joe out the door, Eddie quickly began fumbling around inside the collar of his shirt as he trailed behind them out into the hallway. He unclasped his necklace and tugged it off his neck, holding out his hand to catch Barry's wedding ring, which had been resting against his medallion for the last six months. Joe got them to the elevator and urgently began tapping at the down button, and Eddie caught Barry's left hand. He could feel Barry's whole body vibrating, but Eddie held him fast, slipping the ring on his finger, and he watched as Barry flexed his fingers, familiarizing himself with the weight of it once more.

The elevator dinged as the doors opened and Joe all but yanked Barry into the car. Eddie stood outside of the elevator, staring Barry dead in the eyes, ignoring the way his body shook and trembled and blurred too fast to be seen. He stared him down, pouring all his undying love and unerring support into the gaze. "We'll be _right_ behind you." He said, just before the doors closed. Taking a breath, Eddie spun on his heel, running back into the apartment to get Ethan, and get him ready for his first trip outside since being brought home from the hospital.

Joe and Barry had all but raced out into the parking lot, Barry feeling as if he were about to fly off in different directions. Taking advantage of his profession, Joe had flipped on the emergency lights and broke every speed limit through town to get them to S.T.A.R. Labs. Sitting in the passenger seat, Barry had contemplated calling his mom and dad, but the last thing he wanted to do was call them up to tell them he was awake, only to worry them more by saying that something else was wrong with him. He had figured that it would be best just to let Caitlin, Cisco, and Harrison run whatever tests they could, before contacting his parents.

Needless to say, their hasty arrival at S.T.A.R. Labs had been a bit of a shock, though no one was exactly surprised to see Barry back so soon. As they escorted him and Joe down into the lab, Caitlin confessed to him that with his strange autonomic stats during his coma, as well as his unexplainable rapid cellular regeneration, they’d suspected that there would be other side effects from the dark matter dispersion, ones that couldn’t be predicted until he’d woken up. From beside him, Cisco had proudly informed Barry that he was in good hands, that he’d been preparing for this for weeks, and had been calibrating their test equipment to determine what was going on with him, for when he came out of his coma.

The testing began and Joe had sat there in wonder as he witnessed Barry do things he’d never thought were humanly possibly. Running at speeds that nearly broke Cisco’s treadmill and healing from wounds sustained when he’d fallen off said treadmill. Joe barely understood all the technical jargon that had been floating between Barry, Harrison, Cisco, and Caitlin, nor could he really understand what his eyes were seeing, but it made it no less astounding.

Some time later, Eddie had shown up, Ethan bundled up in his arms, and he too saw firsthand what Barry was capable of. As Cisco ran Barry through the paces, Caitlin and Harrison had taken Eddie and Joe aside, to fawn over Ethan -Harrison and his wife Tess had unfortunately never had children and Caitlin wasn’t so certain that she would either, after her fiancé had died in the accelerator explosion- and to carefully explain to them what it all meant. The dark matter infused lightning had altered his DNA, imbuing him with super speed and quick healing, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Joe had asked if it was possible that other people had been affected like Barry, and Harrison hadn’t even hesitated before confirming that there was _every_ possibility more people had developed similar or other abilities.

He’d told them that he’d tried to track down all the people who’d been hurt in the explosion, which is how they’d stumbled upon Barry, but those who hadn’t died hadn’t presented with any apparent or latent abilities, though it was possible that they hadn’t been able to find everyone. Joe had found himself wondering what it could mean for the city, if these people who had found themselves with powers had less than altruistic motives.

Eddie had just wanted to know what would happen to Barry, if it was okay for him to come home and not have to worry about hurting Ethan because he couldn’t control his powers. Caitlin had sworn to him that Barry was one hundred percent safe and healthy and that control would come in time, but there was no reason to be concerned. Once Cisco had finished his tests, he said that he wanted to run more, out in the field, to really get a sense of the breadth and scope of his abilities, but Caitlin had cut in, saying that they’d done enough for one day, and there would always be time later to do more tests. Harrison had agreed, which both Eddie and Barry were thankful for.

Exchanging their contact information, in case something else unexpected happened, Harrison had escorted Barry, Eddie, and Joe out of S.T.A.R. Labs, while Caitlin and Cisco got to work compiling all the data on Barry that they’d gathered. He had gone on about all the wonderful possibilities Barry’s abilities presented, all the gene therapies, vaccines and new medicines that could be created from his cells, but Barry hadn’t really been paying attention. It was still all so new to him, what had been done to him, and he’d been more concerned about seeing his parents and seeing Iris, not with being a treasure trove of medical miracles.

Eddie, who had recognized the expression on Barry’s face, the one that said he just wanted to go home, had offered out his hand to thank Harrison, effectively shutting him up. Barry had shot him a grateful look as they made their way to the front doors, and Harrison, getting the hint, said his goodbyes. Out in the parking lot, Joe had taken Barry aside as Eddie put Ethan in his car seat and told him that until they knew exactly what they were dealing with, he probably shouldn’t go around advertising his newfound powers. The last thing he wanted was for the military to discover just what had happened the night of the explosion and ride into town looking to round up what Caitlin had called meta humans so they could dissect them in some secret bunker, or worse.

Barry had agreed with him, promising that he’d play the whole thing as close to his chest as possible, which, in hindsight, had turned out to be a pretty difficult promise to keep.

After leaving S.T.A.R. Labs, Eddie had taken Barry to his parents’ house, and it had been hard to explain to them -after nearly twenty minutes of elated hugging and tears- why he’d been in a coma for so long with such strange symptoms without admitting he’d come into some pretty wild powers. He’d played it off as a one-in-a-million medical mystery, though he’d felt simply awful for lying right to their faces.

It had been even harder to not tell Iris, to whom he told _everything_. She knew things about him that even Eddie didn't know, and in turn, he knew a fair few things about her, things they’d often joked about blackmailing each other over. To not tell her about his abilities, it had been incredibly hard for him to stomach.

Luckily, she’d been too caught up in filling him in on what had happened while he’d been asleep -her new job at the _Central City Citizen_ , and her new boyfriend, a Lieutenant Finn Webb, who worked as the media liaison for the CCPD- to recognize that he was holding back on her. It hadn’t made it better, but he’d convinced himself that lying by omission was a shade better than _outright_ lying.

Not telling Singh was the easiest thing he’d done, however. He’d had to make a trip to the station, to file his paternity leave paperwork -after signing off on his medical leave paperwork that Eddie had filed for him- and after walking into the bullpen to a chorus of applause and congratulations on not being dead, Singh had asked him what his doctors had determined, in terms of being able to return to work. Though the animosity that Singh and Barry had once had for each other was now more of a passing, ingrained action between them, they’d still never quite been friends, so telling the captain there had been no side-effects and that he was perfectly healthy hadn’t bothered him one iota.

But things always had a way of getting out.

While the S.T.A.R. Labs team ran him through the paces to test his abilities, they discovered the bank robbers Joe had been investigating had turned out to also be meta humans, the Mardon brothers, who’d already knocked over a dozen banks before either of them had hit twenty-five. Their powers had just made them worse. The police hadn’t been able to deal with them, and Barry, knowing he couldn’t just sit idly by, had stepped up to the plate, using his own powers to stop them. Working with Caitlin, Cisco, and Harrison, Barry had tracked the brothers down to an empty farmhouse on the city outskirts. Wearing a suit Cisco had slapped together to monitor his vitals and protect him from wind shear, Barry had fought against them tooth and nail before taking them down. The younger brother had died in the fight, trying to mow him down with a giant tornado, but the eldest, Mark Mardon, had survived.

Knowing that no normal prison would be able to contain a meta human, Harrison had offered up the pods in the accelerator pipeline, to house the metas who had used the abilities for crime, or to do harm to others. It had felt good, using his powers to protect people, as did working with the S.T.A.R. Labs team to stop crime, so when they had suggested that Barry use his powers to stop other metas from doing what the Mardons had done, he had quickly agreed.

But neither Joe or Eddie had been happy about it. Joe had been upset because he didn’t want Barry to end up a vigilante like the Green Arrow in Star City, taking justice into his own hands, whether the police were prepared to deal with meta humans or not. Eddie had been upset for more personal reasons. Not only had he found out that Barry been using his abilities to catch purse snatchers and armed robbers, as well as saving people from burning buildings, but when he’d discovered Barry passed out in the kitchen, Eddie had frantically called Caitlin, who had raced over with Cisco so they could find out what was wrong with him. After some quick tests, she’d diagnosed him with a metabolic failure brought on by, in her words, acute hypoglycemia, and Eddie had lost it, though he'd kept his cool until after their guests had left.

“You  _can’t_  keep doing this.” Eddie hissed through clenched teeth, not wanting to wake up Ethan, who was snoozing on Barry’s chest.

Per Caitlin’s orders, Barry was resting on the couch, taking it easy after inhaling enough food to feed four people to appease her. Ethan had been woken up sometime during all the excitement, wailing from his crib as Cisco helped Eddie pick him up off the kitchen floor, and Barry had tried to make amends for scaring Eddie by soothing Ethan back to sleep.

Barely raising his voice above a whisper, Barry carefully covered Ethan’s ear with a hand, rubbing his thumb through his downy soft hair in gentle circles to keep him from waking. “I won’t be. You heard Caitlin, as soon as she comes up with this diet of hers, I’ll be all right.” 

She’d promised to outline a new diet for him before leaving with Cisco -both of them eager to get out of the apartment after sensing the heightened tensions- and told him that until she found something that worked, to just make sure he ate, whether he was hungry or not. He knew it wouldn’t be hard to comply, as over the past few weeks, he’d constantly been walking around with at least a faint sense of hunger, making him feel all the more stupid for not recognizing the signs for what they were.

“I don’t mean-” Eddie ducked his head, scrubbing at the back of his neck with a hand in frustration. After a moment, he let out a breath and glanced back up at Barry. “I mean you can’t keep running around playing at being a hero. It was bad enough with you being talked into tracking down other metas by Harrison, but running into burning buildings? Going up against armed gunmen? We have a  _family_  now, Barry. What's going to happen to us when you get unlucky and get yourself killed?"

Barry blinked up at Eddie, stunned by the blatant hypocrisy of the statement. "You're a  _cop_ , Eddie. You put your life on the line day in and day out, never knowing if you're gonna make it home at the end of the day, and you have the audacity to tell me that I can't do the same?"

Eddie opened up his mouth to respond but Barry held up a sharp finger to cut him off. Ethan stirred on his chest and not wanting to wake him up again, Barry carefully stood up and silently marched into their bedroom to put Ethan in his crib. Once he was certain he wasn't going to wake up, Barry exited the bedroom, shutting the door behind him before stalking back into the living room. He found Eddie pacing the carpet, clearly agitated, and Barry sucked in a breath, preparing himself for the oncoming argument.

Eddie stopped his pacing when he saw Barry standing there watching him, arms folded across his chest, a heated look in his eyes. "I didn't mean it to sound that way, Bar," He said sincerely, "but you're right, I  _am_  a cop. It's my  _job_  to risk my life for the safety of others. And despite the fact that you work for the department, you are still a civilian. You're untrained and have no experience whatsoever when it comes to-"

"Okay, first of all," Barry interjected, "you know that's completely untrue. I was practically  _raised_  in Joe's house, and you know damn well that he taught me and Iris to box and to properly handle a weapon. I may not have gone through the Academy, but I'm not an  _idiot_. I know all the safety procedures and protocols for the department, because, as you said, I  _work_  for the police. Secondly," He threw his hands in the air in exasperation, "I have  _superpowers_! What am I supposed to do, sit around  _not_  using them when people are in danger? That's not who  _you_  are, and that's not who  _I_  am. It's not just about  _our_ family, it's about  _everyone's_  families. Harrison wants to make sure that no one is put in jeopardy because of his mistakes, and I'm in the position to help him with that.

"And... if I save a few people from a burning building, or stop some guy from shooting up a convenience store, then that's even more people who get to go home to their families. I mean, what kind of example would I be setting for Ethan, huh? Having the power to help people, help this  _city_ , maybe in the  _world_ , but choosing to do nothing with it? You want him to end up like your father? A powerful politician who helps no one but himself and the jerks who bankroll him, not giving a damn about anyone else until election season? Are those the kind of values you want to instill in him?"

Lowering his gaze to the floor, Eddie placed a hand on his hip, using his other hand to rub at his chin. "That's a cheap blow, and you know it." He flicked his eyes up at Barry. "And it's not fair, not when you know I'm just..." A noticeable tremor filled his voice. "I'm scared of what could happen to you. For six months, I could  _barely_  get through each day without you, and that was just a coma. If you were dead... if there was no chance of you coming back, I don't know what I'd do."

"Every day, I feel the  _exact_  same thing about you, when I know you're out there looking for murderers and thieves and dealers with nothing to lose... but I don't let my fears _rule_ me. There are days when I want nothing more than to board up the doors and keep you from going to work, because I'm  _so_  frightened by the idea of getting that call, of having to stand over your casket as they put you in the ground. But then I remember how many people you've saved, how many criminals you've gotten off the streets, how many shooters and jumpers you've talked down... and I feel better about letting you walk out the door."

Barry padded across the carpet, putting his hands on Eddie's shoulders, waiting until he lifted his head up to look him square in the eye. "I know you're scared and you're just reacting from your fears. But I'm asking you to have the faith in me that I have in you. Harrison and Caitlin and Cisco, they're helping me train, to get faster and smarter. And I know I'm just like a rookie on his first day, but honestly... what were  _you_  like on your first day?"

Eddie managed to crack a tiny smile. "Nervous. Thought there was a good chance I was going to shoot my foot off before lunch."

"And that's totally understandable. You had to work out the kinks, get used to the pace and the routine before you were confident enough to know you weren't going to blow off an arm or a leg. I may not be a professional firefighter or hostage negotiator, but the only way to get better is to keep trying, to keep giving it my all until I can run circles around the Green Arrow and his band of merry masks. And I  _will_. Today... today was just a stumbling block, but now that we know about my metabolism, it will get better. Learn from your mistakes, right? You just have to not be afraid to let me try."

"Then let me _help_." Eddie blurted out, surprising even himself. "I'll sleep better knowing I'm working with you. And you can't just have Joe on your side, not with the station worried about another vigilante. It'll look better for you, if you're seen assisting the police, not circumventing them. When the Green Arrow was just the Hood, the police in Star City were gunning for his head, and I don't want that to happen to you."

Suppressing a smirk at Eddie's obvious eagerness to protect him, Barry nodded his head solemnly, trying to seem serious. "Makes sense. And it would make sense to have someone on the inside at one of the papers. Someone who's not gonna take potshots at me or refer to me as a menace to society."

It was Eddie's turn to grin at Barry. "Man, you  _really_  want to tell Iris, don't you?"

Barry slumped his shoulders guiltily. "I do... I've always told her everything and I hate myself for lying to her about this. If she ever found out, she'd..." He didn't even want to imagine the things Iris would do to him, to get back at him for deliberately keeping her in the dark. He loved her fiercely, but he was also fiercely scared of her. 

"Well, you're a genius, aren't you?"

"Uh..."

Eddie snorted at the brilliant reply. "I'm sure you'll think of a way to tell her who the Flash is without breaking your promise to Joe about telling her yourself. He can't get mad at you if it was an accident, right?"

An expression of dawning realization crossed Barry's face, and he smiled at Eddie as a plan formulated in his mind. "You have absolutely _no_ idea how much I love you right now."

Revealing to Iris that he was the Streak -the moniker she'd given him in the papers, after he'd foiled a number of crimes- had gone much better than Barry ever could have hoped for. He'd arranged for a not-so-accidental meet-cute, where he slipped up and gave himself away. Iris had been stunned at first, but she had recovered quickly, only slapping him a few times across the back of his head, and only gave him a half hour's worth of the patented West Family Silent Treatment. Then she grinned at him ecstatically and demanded to know everything.

Joe had naturally been upset, even after he'd explained for the umpteenth time that it had been an _accident_ , they couldn't deny the results the accident had. Their little team now consisted of four scientists, two detectives and a journalist, and the effect it had on tracking down metas and catching criminals had been astounding. The pipeline was quickly filling with metas, and they had begun building a network of metas like Barry, who were just normal people who had been affected by the dark matter explosion and had no designs on becoming master criminals. They had even discovered that Caitlin's husband, Ronnie, who had been presumed dead after the explosion, was, in fact, very much alive.

His body was playing host to Dr. Martin Stein, who had been coming to see Harrison the night the accelerator was being switched on, and it had driven them both nearly mad, sharing each other's minds, but Harrison and Caitlin had burned the midnight oil creating a device that would separate them, before a man named General Eiling and his platoon of soldiers could get their hands on them.

The separation had been successful, though it had left a gigantic crater on the outskirts of the city, and Eiling had been sent packing with his tail between his legs. They'd been certain it wouldn't be the last time they heard from him, but they'd been too busy celebrating the return of Ronnie and Stein to really care. Their team was now bolstered by two new members, and after the explosion that had been caused by the two of them separating, they'd drawn the attention of the Green Arrow, who'd come to Central City to investigate the existence of the so-called Flash -Iris had thankfully started referring to him by another name in her articles- and the emergence of so many super powered criminals. A calling card had been left, an arrow in the kneecap of a would-be gun runner, along with the broken eardrums of his beaten up cohorts, and while Cisco had been ecstatic at the idea of the Black Canary being in Central City -as he'd been crushing on her for years- Joe, Eddie, and everyone else had been suspicious of his arrival.

Though the Green Arrow had risen from the ashes of the feared Starling City Vigilante to become the hero of Star City, many people still remembered the trail of bodies and destruction that had been left in his wake, and Joe had cautioned Barry about going out to meet such a madman. But where Cisco nursed a crush on the Canary, Barry had been secretly nursing a fascination with the Green Arrow. He'd been a lowly forensic assistant when the Vigilante had first made his appearance, and Barry had always wondered why he wore green, how he financed his operation, and how many people he had working for him.

He'd spent hours on numerous online forums, discussing the genesis of his desire to fight crime, his insistence on wearing green, despite the urban environment, and how the Vigilante would be better off ditching the grease paint for a compressible micro-fabric to conceal his identity. Much to his delight, several months later, photos had surfaced of the Green Arrow and his team wearing masks similar to what he would have designed for them, and it had confirmed what he already knew, that much like his own team, the Green Arrow had an array of differently talented people working for him, and Barry himself had unknowingly -at least to them- contributed to their work.

Now the Green Arrow wanted to meet with him and Barry had found himself anxiously excited by the prospect, no matter how much Eddie and Joe tried to dissuade him. His expectations had been somewhat muted after _actually_ meeting him, however, as the Arrow's gruff, no-nonsense exterior clashed with Barry's easy-going nature, but he felt somewhat emboldened by the fact that the Green Arrow had felt it necessary to bring along some of his friends, while he himself had come alone. The notoriously badass Green Arrow thought he needed backup against him, and Barry could only grin as they hashed out whatever differences they had when it came to how they protected their cities.

After they had bandied words and partook in the proper amount of macho posturing, assurances were made that Barry only had the best intentions at heart to use his powers for good. Seemingly satisfied with their first encounter, the Green Arrow talked it over with his friends before tossing him a cellphone. He was then informed that a few metas had slipped into Star City unchecked, creating unforeseen problems when they'd first been encountered, and that if the phone ever rang, it meant he was needed to come and clean up the mess if it ever happened again. Barry had immediately accepted, jumping at the chance to work with the Green Arrow, even as he heard Joe in his earpiece cursing at the Arrow's audacity to think the Flash worked for _him_.

Their fledgling alliance had been a boon, though, when a meta had managed to mess with Barry's mind, turning him into a veritable rage monster. The phone the Green Arrow had given him worked both ways, and Eddie had frantically called the only number programmed into the contact list, all but begging for assistance in helping them catch Barry. Even Joe's tune had changed, after Rainbow Raider's -Cisco hated the fact that Caitlin's name for him had stuck- effects had been nullified, stopping Barry from nearly killing Eddie and Iris in a blind rage. The Green Arrow's help had been the linchpin in saving Barry and Joe had been the first person to sing the Arrow's praises.

In return, Barry had been called up to help rescue Team Arrow for some place called Nanda Parbat, and he'd done so without hesitation. After that, their alliance had been solidified, as well as the burgeoning friendship between him and the Green Arrow, and together, they had accomplished great feats, which had been a good thing for the Arrow. Once Central City had learned of its guardian angel, they had moved to support him one hundred percent, and being seen helping the Flash had bolstered Star City's opinion of the Green Arrow.

They had might quite the team, Barry's friends and Oliver's friends working together -it had been quite a shock for them all, learning that the Green Arrow was none other than Oliver Queen, though Cisco remained adamant he'd known all along, since he'd compiled a list of potential candidates that Oliver was on- and the Arrow's tutelage had helped Barry become an even better superhero, a hero who could one day look into the eyes of his son and know for a fact that he'd done everything in his power to make sure he grew up knowing he was safe and loved.

And at the end of the day, that was all that truly mattered to Barry and Eddie, that they were making a better world for the son to inherit.

Pulling himself out of his memories, Barry looked from the framed note back to Eddie and smiled. He had this fantastically amazing life because of that note, and though it had come to him by means neither of them really understood, they didn’t _need_ to understand. He was just unbelievably thankful for the path it had set them on, and Barry never wanted to imagine a world where he and Eddie were not together and not madly in love with one another.

"Okay, but be-" He was cut off by his phone buzzing in his pocket, and with a groan, Barry fished it out. His shoulders slumped when he saw the display. "It's Ronnie. I gotta get to S.T.A.R. Labs."

Nodding his head, Eddie kissed Barry's cheek before letting him go. "Be safe. And I'll keep dinner warm for you."

"Keep _two_ plates warm for me. Something tells me I'm gonna be hungry."

Eddie laughed openly in his face. "When are you ever _not_ hungry?"

Barry shoved Eddie back playfully. "Shush." Turning around, he walked over to Ethan, bending down to plant a kiss on the crown of his head. "Be good for daddy, Ethan. And maybe after dinner, we'll take you out for ice cream, to celebrate you being a big boy."

"Ice cweam!" Ethan crowed, clapping his hands together and bouncing around on the floor in excitement. "Ice cweam, ice cweam!"

"Thanks for that." Eddie said flatly, leering down at Barry. "If he doesn't eat his dinner because he wants ice cream, I'm taking it out on _your_ ass."

"Ooh, is that a promise?" Barry replied cheekily, waggling his eyebrows at Eddie suggestively.

Covering his face with a hand, Eddie shook his head ruefully. "Just go. Keep the city from burning to the ground." The thought alone of all the paperwork _that_ would entail was threatening to give him a migraine.

" _Fine_ , I'm leaving." Standing up, Barry raced over to the door, opening it up to leave, but stopped short when he saw Iris standing outside, hand raised to knock.

She blinked at him in surprise, then folded her arms across her chest, giving him an arch look. "So... I guess that means you _and_ Finn are gonna be late for dinner then, right?"

Barry winced. "Yeah, probably. But I'll definitely be back in time for dessert. Ethan walked today, so we're gonna go out for ice cream to celebrate."

"Ice cweam!" They heard Ethan shout from inside the apartment.

"Dammit, Bar!"

Smirking at the exasperated tone of Eddie's voice, Iris rolled her eyes at Barry. "Well, just be careful. I'd hate to write about you going splat against a building. Or how the Flash's husband snapped and strung him up by his balls."

"Mmh, I'll take my chances with going splat. I'm more likely to survive that one."

"Good call." Holding her arms open, she wrapped him up in a hug and gave him a kiss. "Oh, and when you see Cisco, telling him I'm still waiting for his RSVP."

Giving her a gentle squeeze, Barry patted her back. "I'll make sure he knows you're gonna kick his ass if he doesn't get it to you."

"I don't think I'd be able to do such thing," She said haughtily, "but thank you."

"Welcome." Releasing Iris, he stooped down to kiss her swollen belly, before pointing a stern finger at it, as if her unborn baby could see it. "If I get back and find out you've eaten all my food, I'm gonna make sure your cousin gets all the ice cream and you get _none_."

Iris slapped his shoulder. "Oh, my God, you are the _worst_ uncle _ever_!" She placed a hand over her stomach protectively. "If Eddie _does_ string you up, I'm _so_ gonna help him." Sticking her nose in the air haughtily, Iris brushed past Barry as she walked into the apartment. Setting her purse down on the couch, she greeted Eddie with a hug and a kiss. Knowing he'd heard their conversation, she glared back at Barry as she spoke to Eddie. "Just say the word and I'll hold him down for you."

"That's a tempting offer, but sadly, I'll have to decline. I need his balls." When Iris stared up at him with a look that said _too much information_ , Eddie grinned. "I'm _this_ close," He held up a hand, thumb and forefinger a mere hairsbreadth apart, "to convincing him to have another kid."

Gasping, Iris clasped her hands together hopefully, glancing from Eddie to Barry. After she'd announced her pregnancy, Eddie had confessed to her how much he wanted another kid and she'd been waiting for him to bring it up to Barry, so her baby would have a lot of cousins to grow up and play with. "Aww! You guys... that's _amazing_!"

Barry flushed at her reaction and ducked his head. "I gotta go... save... something. Or someone. Bye." He grabbed the door handle and made to leave, swinging the door shut behind him as Eddie and Iris laughed at him.

A second later, the door reopened and he peeked his head in, gaze landing on Eddie. "I was gonna tell you, be careful what you wish for..." His eyes took on a mischievous glint. "Twins run on my mom's side of the family."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!


End file.
